Midlife Transition - A Radical Approach to Any Midlife Crisis
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Many years ago I read a book that was one of the most eye-opening and personally impact-full books I've ever read - and I read all the time. It's by a man named Wally Minto and it's called The Results Book. I'd like to introduce you to some of his ideas.
Understanding the power of Your brain
All of our life operates under the law, it is done unto us as we believe. Your brain is a computer-like guidance mechanism and it guides you as you have been programmed. You can think of beliefs in degrees.. What are some of the things you believe in? You might believe in yourself, in a Higher Power, in the rising and setting of the sun. Many people would agree with these beliefs, yet there are things we believe in that are actually stronger than any of these. Our strongest beliefs are actually the things that we fear. I guarantee that if you were walking through the woods and met up with a bear, you would believe in that bear in a stronger sense than you have ever believed in a Higher Power or gravity or anything else. If you did believe that strongly, you would be getting answers to all your prayers. Most of us don't pray with that much energy and emotion. Fear is the same thing as belief but - we put more energy and emotion into what we fear and so it becomes a stronger belief.
What do you REALLY believe? Okay - So, You believe in a Higher Power, or in the rising and setting of the sun. That is believing. But REALLY believing is worrying --about anything. And then there is REALLY, REALLY believing. We really, really believe in the things we fear. Minto puts it this way :
"Realize that you use the same faculties of your brain-mind functioning to believe in God as you use to fear the dentist, except that when your believing reaches the degree of fear, you are putting more energy and more emotion into it so it becomes a stronger belief. If you can grasp the fact that worry and fear are the strongest forms of believing, and as you believe so shall it be done unto you, then you will understand how allowing your problems to be O.K. will solve 90% of your problems in life without even directing any attention to the problem."
How does this work? We never worry when we believe something is O.K. If it's O.K., we don't worry about it or fear it. When we see midlife as a crisis rather than as an opportunity for transition, what we are doing is using the strongest form of belief - worry and fear! Of course, we don't just do this about Midlife Crisis issues, but they are good ones to practice this with.
Ancient Teachings
There is an ancient teaching, 'That which I feared the most came upon me.' It's telling us what we have all experienced 'that which I really, really believed in happened to me.' If you will allow your problems - such as aging and empty-nest and job change, to be O.K. just the way they are, then your subconscious mind will stop worrying about them or stop fearing them. This allows it to stop really, really believing in what you were calling a "problem". Then the conscious desire or answer can actually become a reality. By eliminating worry and fear you actually open your mind to see answers - and of course, that means you stop seeing problems. What we focus on increase. When your focus is on the problem, you will not see the answer. If your focus is on 'crisis", you will not see 'transition' and growth. Worry is the best way to keep things as they are - it develops a habit of having the very experience you are worrying about. You are actually creating a vibrational match to the problem. When you recognize that everything in life is O.K. you actually create a new brain pattern that releases the worry and when you release the worry, the problem is gone!
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