Organized Living Perfectionism - A New Disorder of the 21st Century
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- you make lists of your lists
- your organize your organizing products
- you label the container that holds the labels
- you measure the centerpiece to make sure it is actually in the "center"
- you refold laundry several times to get it "just right"
- you "straighten" your children's drawers after they have put away their laundry
- you have assigned housecleaning to specific days of the week and that chore is completed on that day no matter what happens in your life
- you clean and organize spaces that are already clean and organized
- the amount of time that you spend with your kids is less than the time that you spend tidying up their "stuff"
- you schedule time in your day planner to "complete my day planner"
The participants in a stress management class were involved in a class discussion that required them to share their stresses. One table was having an animated discussion as one woman shared all all the things she had to do, explaining that she could not get it all done in the short 24 hours of every day. One woman complained that she could never get enough sleep because she could not get the housework done. She was literally staying up until 1 or 2 am everyday doing housework! Here is how the exploration of that issue unfolded. Me: "Why are you doing that?" Her: "In case somebody comes over I want the house to look nice." Me: "Who are your expecting at that hour?" Her: (she paused for a while to think about it) "Well in case somebody breaks in or something."This person was guilty of perfectionism. She was trying hard to do everything she thought she was supposed to do without stopping to set priorities and figure out what she wanted her life to be like.She had continued adding so many things to her life (including going to school full time) that her life was now out of control and she had to make up a silly reason for doing housework at 2 am because she really didn't have a good reason. Sometimes you just have to say it out loud to realize how silly it can be. The disorder of organized living perfectionism is not fatal and not contagious, so you need not worry that your family will catch it from you. However, unless you do something about it they might miss you a lot while they are having fun and you are busy organizing something!
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