Our Bittersweet Life Of Desires

What do you do when you want something really bad?

Suppose that new pickup truck seems to be just what you need to feel wonderful again? Maybe it is the redecorating of the dining room. Or, perhaps it’s that new Fall outfit, or the vacation that will let you get away for awhile. For some of us it might mean going off the wagon and having a drink, for others it could be eating your way through the holidays. And what if it is that clandestine affair with Mr. or Ms. Unavailable, with whom you find that your heart (and hands) has a mind of its own?

So many desires. So many apparent needs. We all have a life time of them. When I was young I wanted toys that were soon forgotten. In junior high school I wanted a girlfriend who soon was left behind for another. In High school I wanted to be a sports hero. But the popularity and acclaim eluded me regardless of the athletic success.

All along I have discovered my strongest desires had something missing once attained. There was loneliness and little motivation once I reached grad school in Arizona, there was stress and disillusionment once I became a pastor, and once past the initial joy of moving to the mountains of Colorado my chronic depression returned.

So, what do we do when we want something really, really bad?

While it’s true that the intended satisfaction rarely arrives or doesn’t last all that long, we often need to pursue the goal anyway. It may be a noble endeavor that deserves our efforts. It may simply provide a little joy for an interlude in a stressful life.

At the same time, realizing that the end may not be what we really desire, we may refrain from making serious mistakes. Another binge drinking episode, an unfortunate affair, or simply a waste of time and effort can be avoided by recalling our past.

This morning I awoke from a dream where her lips met mine, where my arousal was immediate, and my desire was for more, more, more. We all have such moments whether in dreams or in the break room with a co-worker. It is the life force moving through us in a way that reminds us that we are not just a gob of clay moping around. Further, it is a reminder of the God spark within us that seeks to enliven and entertain us, as well as, challenging us to develop character and depth.

So, what do I do when I want something really, really, really bad?

I allow myself to be very afraid of my human frailties! But, I also let myself enjoy the sweet joy of the dream. Finally, I evaluate how reasonable the goal is, while watching out for any obsessiveness in regards to it.

Being too riled up is a signal to me that I’m trying to get too much out of something. I’m trying to escape some discomfort in my life by running towards something wonderful. What I need to do is face what’s bothering me underneath and resolve it. My preoccupation with the latest and greatest desire is a faithful indicator of my avoidance mechanisms.

Healthy fear, joy, evaluation, and watchfulness over my motives are what help me. What might work for you?