Paradox In The Journey

For the last 14 plus years I have been on a journey. I had hit a wall in life, in particular the life I was living inside myself. The outside world may have thought things were OK. I had a home, 2 cars, the bills were paid and my consulting company was doing fine from a financial standpoint.
Inside I was a mess. I was spiritually dead, was losing relationships that meant the world to me, and had lost respect for myself. It was not a pretty picture.
A series of events occurred that caused me to make changes. I wanted myself back and had no idea who I was. I wanted balance, joy, hope, serenity and a positive feeling about life. I wanted balance and to find my original centre once again.
A journey began. One of the interesting facets of the journey is the paradoxes that are a part of it.
Think about them in your own life!

“We SURRENDER TO WIN”.
“We DIE TO LIVE.”
“We SUFFER TO GET WELL

“There is no way to escape the terrible suffering of remorse and regret and shame and embarrassment which starts us on the road to getting well from our affliction. There is no new way to shake out a hangover. It's painful. And for us, necessarily so. I told this to a friend of mine as he sat weaving to and fro on the side of the bed, in terrible shape, about to die for some paraldehyde. I said, "Lost John" - that's his nickname - "Lost John, you know you're going to have to do a certain amount of shaking sooner or later." "Well," he said, "for God's sake let's make it later!" We suffer to get well.”

My journey really began when I surrendered. I finally quit fighting the obvious, life was not OK as it was, and to make change, I had to understand that I did not control much. Tough for the old ego, but the ego in a healthy form survived!
A part of me had to die. Those habits and actions that were dragging me down. And slowly but surely they began to die and I started to live the life I knew was possible!
Was it easy?
NO.
I suffered, and in some ways those around me suffered. Yet slowly out of the suffering came balance and a new sanity!
Life is full of paradoxes and today I appreciate them! I love the journey. I love to share it! It is great to be alive again inside!