Pet Peeves and Relationship Battles

Commitment in a relationship means that you have an armful of acceptance, tolerance, patience and most of all, love for your partner. But, human as we are, there will always be differences between us and our significant other. No matter how much you love a person, there are and there will always be that person’s attitudes or habits that would annoy you to death. Many couples end up fighting over each other’s habits that they can’t stand and want to break away from. People often have pet peeves about others, and what makes a relationship last is how a person deals with them.

Although pet peeves are notorious to drive a person crazy and break an otherwise harmonious relationship, it doesn’t mean it can’t be helped. Most people involved in a relationship have been nagged, or have nagged at some point in their lives. Women are more inclined to use this tactic, but it can’t be denied that nagging is not the most effective warfare in relationship battles. It’s not that the other person is lazy, or good-for-nothing. It’s usually because the more you remind or suggest something, the more the other person would stubbornly refuse to do it. Nagging is hard to avoid, but what a lot of us don’t realize is this: it’s easier for somebody to take a suggestion or reminder without being nagged.

In every relationship, there are issues –and there are key issues. Your partner’s socks scattered all over the floor, as well as your numerous pet peeves, is an issue. Key issues that are bound to come up such as money, children, sex and relatives are ones that shouldn’t be ignored. Although a couple won’t see each other eye-to-eye on every issue, it is important to be able to talk about these things. Learn on what aspects you disagree on, and try to find out why. It can be surprising at times to know that there are still a lot of things that you have yet to discover about your partner, when you thought all along that you already knew the person inside out.

Sometimes bringing up an issue with a significant other can be as sensitive as handling a hand grenade, especially if it is about one’s behaviour. Sure, you’re at your wit’s end, and you’ve been itching to unload your feelings since this morning, but is your timing perfect? There’s no point broaching a topic that could make you both irritated when you know that he is trying to beat a deadline on his paper works. Good timing is just as important as picking your battles—it would usually determine whether the result will be a calm discussion or a heated fight. However, something that causes you stress or emotional pain is better addressed sooner than later.

Leaving a problem unresolved will only fester and eventually cause resentment and more problems for both of you. At times it’s easier to simply take a deep breath and not say a word when a problem comes up. Easy, but one of the worst things that you can do. The unwillingness to talk about issues in a relationship can eventually cause problems in the future. Just as important as good timing, how you bring up the topic can either make your partner receptive or defensive. It can be intimidating but being able to talk it out will have its rewards in the end.