Problem Children

Getting a call from the principal’s office is one of the last calls you want to receive during the day. Finding out that your child has been misbehaving and now has to stay in detention is not the type of news any parent wants to hear. For some parents, having to receive these phone calls on a frequent basis can cause them to be over emotional and ground the child for life. If you find yourself in a similar situation, and before you see your child again, take a deep breath, count to ten and be ready to talk to your child about the problems going on.

Anger and embarrassment as a parent is one reaction you may have when you continually get these types of phone calls. What is important to know is there is a reason your child continues to get into trouble and there can be a few things done to find out and correct the situation.

The first resource available is your child. Talk with him or her and find out what’s happening to cause this behavior. Is your child not getting along with other students? Is your child not getting along with the teacher? Many times situations arise when there is a conflict with another person. Another reason would be the child is bored in class or not getting the attention that he or she needs. The child will probably not be able to explain this and may not even realize it. However, listen to your child and understand what he or she feels is the problem. Discuss with your child what it will take to resolve the problem; if your child gets detention at school, he or she is already being punished. Give your child the opportunity to know you care and that you want to help any way you can.

Another resource available is the school. Talk with the teacher and find out how your child is behaving in class. If you don’t know the children your son or daughter is hanging out with in class, ask the teacher about them. Are the people your child hangs around with getting into trouble too? Find out if there are any recommendations the teacher has to resolve the problem.

At times creating a new environment for your child to go to school in is necessary. If your child isn’t being challenged enough or not being engaged to learn in class then a change of school should be considered. If your child is being bullied, a change of school should be considered. Discuss this option with your child as well. Changing schools may not resolve the problem, but it may give your child an opportunity to change and it will let your child know you care about him or her.

The Spoiled One

There is nothing more distressing than hearing your child cry over something that he or she wants, but you have told your child that he or she can’t have it. Many times you feel that it is easier to give in and allow your child to have the item so you can have peace and quiet. However, when you give in to a child’s demands over time, your child can turn into a spoiled one who learns he or she can get anything he or she wants by pushing his or her parents’ buttons.

The first step to ensuring that your child does not become “The Spoiled One” is to be consistent in what you tell him or her. Teach your child that when you say ‘no’ you mean ‘no’. Even if your child screams at the top of his or her lungs for hours on end, by not giving in you teach your child that there is no reward for the wrong behavior and you are not going to back down.

The second step to ensuring that your child does not become “The Spoiled One” is to not bribe your child into performing the right behavior. Your child may learn that unless he or she is given something, he or she does not have to behave. Rewarding your child for the correct behavior after he or she has done it of his or her own free will is all right.

The third step to ensuring that your child does not become one of the problem children is to not give your child everything he or she wants even if you have the money for it. Teach your child to learn how to live without things and to respect what he or she has.

Learning how to be firm and consistent with your child can be difficult, but over time it will get easier. Problem children can be taught to be different.