Refocus: The Journey,The journal

15 years ago my personal, internal life hit a wall. Exte
ally things looked OK, internally they were horrible. I was at a bottom spiritually and emotionally, self-esteem was gone, and those I cared the most about in my personal life were pulling away.
I had lost sight of goal setting, had lost personal direction and my internal compass was gone. I was hurting and was finding a wide variety of ways, not just drinking, to try and make the pain go away. On the 14th of September, 1994 I had a miracle happen that lead to a real moment of clarity. A voice inside me rose up and told me today was the day my life must begin to change. I LISTENED. A journey of change began.
The journey was never and is not today, about living free of addictions. This way of life is a by product of the journey, not the goal. “THE JOU
EY” is about living a life that to put simply is happy, joyous and free, a life that is whole and complete; where I can love myself and serve others willingly. A life where reasonable goals can be set and achieved. More than just a dream but a life where dreams come true. A life where restful sleep and laughter are daily. Most importantly, where I have a spiritual connection with a Higher Power I listen to internally and exte
ally on a daily basis.
THE JOU
EY was and is to a different way of life, a far more holistic approach.
I was given a checklist early on that showed me fundamental things I had to do on a daily basis. While logical to many people, they were not logical to me. I have shared this tool with hundreds over the years, use it in my coaching today, and will give it freely to anyone who contacts me at khbray@hopese
ity.ca and puts checklist in the subject line.
Part of my daily activity is jou
aling, and I have been doing this for years. It is a part of my journey, a part of my own recovery of life, a part of my holistic approach. I try to exte
alize what is going on in my head. I made a decision to share it publically a long while ago, firstly for me, as a check on myself, and secondly, if my ramblings ring a bell with others, and help them move forward in a small way, then it is a blessing. I put it out there, and am who I am.
I have used outside coaching and professionals as a big part of my journey. The use of outside professionals is well documented in the writings and philosophies of the 12 step program I am still active in. While I continue to do much “service” (voluntary) work in my fellowship, and with addicted people I meet on line, I have trained hard to upgrade my natural talents to become an accomplished “outside” professional and offer my services to others in coaching them on life issues, goal setting, building self-confidence and living their dreams using there talents. I had wanted to do this for 14 years, but held off. I think most people in early recovery have thoughts of doing this. I waited long enough to make sure the thought was consistent for a long period, that I took training and that I consulted with my higher power and my most trusted advisors before making the move.
I’ve made it, am good at it, am doing what I know I was meant to do, have had the joy of seeing real positive results in others, and feel good inside.
My own journey to a better life continues, and I continue to use my personal circle PLUS outside professionals to grow. My compass is my higher power, and I look at my compass daily to keep me on track.
There is a fine line between what I do for a living and the fellowship of which I’m a proud member. I try not to cross the line and ask for guidance in this balance. That being said, there are many in the fellowship and who are addicted that use and/or need outside professional help to get them properly on track. Personally I would not have the freedom from addictions I have today without much outside help in a variety of areas, including career, in my life. I do believe in a holistic approach to getting a life where dreams become goals and are realized. I do offer my services when appropriate on a professional basis.
I did a video the other day that really focused on my “holistic” business, not specifically on recovery. Some may think it crossed a line, and I have reflected on that and meditated.
I am as focused today on my journey of life recovery, and living free from addictions today as I was in 1994. Good mental hygiene to me on a daily basis comes from practicing the principles of the 12 steps daily, and I will continue to do this. I will refocus my efforts to help others, not only in “service” areas, but in my occupation. I have been trained to do this, and have a given ability to help others. I am constantly reminded of the shockingly low rates of success of 12 step programs and treatment facilities. People like me need both of these, but far more (holistic help) to achieve the life they were meant to live.
Things have happened over the last few months that have caused me to refocus on the journey and its purpose, and the importance of jou
aling. Through reflection, I have my answer and am more committed to ever to the path I am on today. I have an ability to make a difference and to be a tool to help others, and I believe passionately in this.
I do have a web site at www.hopeserenity.ca. For those who have the interest, they are invited to join. It is a place where sharing on many life topics can occur, and is “holistic” in approach.