Let's Appreciatie Ourselves
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Let’s Appreciate Ourselves
In my years as a college and professional baseball player I learned many things. One of the things I learned to do as well as almost anything else was beat myself up. I became a master, along with many of my teammates, at being hard on myself and “never being satisfied.” These were traits taught to me, directly or indirectly, by those around me. I was told that if I was hard enough on myself and I never got “complacent,” I would be successful in baseball and in life.
However, when my career ended abruptly due to injury, I realized looking back on my 18 years in competitive baseball that I had one major regret. I had beaten myself up so much as an athlete; I had forgotten to enjoy what I was doing. Being so focused on “making it” and on overcoming my “weaknesses,” I had not taken much time to appreciate myself and my success along the way. In hindsight, I can see that this obsession with being hard on myself (in the name of commitment and success) not only had a negative impact on my level of enjoyment, but on my results as well.
This experience is clearly not unique to me. Many of us spend too much time beating ourselves up or listening to that negative internal voice that tells us we aren't good enough and focuses on what we are doing “wrong.” As I work with my clients and speak to groups around the country about the topic of appreciation, I hear people say things like, “I’m my own worst enemy,” or, “I never even think to stop and appreciate myself.” There is an epidemic in our society of people being self-critical, somehow thinking that being hard on themselves will make them more successful, happy, and will allow them to reach their goals in life. Sadly, as many of us know from experience, this does not work.
As challenging and counter-intuitive as it may seem, the best remedy for this negative obsession is genuine self-appreciation. In the midst of our busy lives, our daily activities, our successes, and even our struggles, it is important for us to stop and truly appreciate ourselves. For many of us, self-appreciation can be challenging. We have been trained to beat ourselves up, to be self-deprecating, and many of us simply haven’t been encouraged to genuinely focus on what we like and admire about ourselves. However, true self-appreciation is not about being arrogant, it is about loving and honoring ourselves for all that we do, and more importantly, for all that we are. Self-appreciation is the key to true success and fulfillment. The great news is that we have access to appreciating ourselves in every moment…it is simply a choice.
Create a “Sunshine File”
A “sunshine file” is an important folder that you put in your desk drawer (or somewhere else close to you). In this folder, you put any and all expressions of gratitude or appreciation that you receive…about YOU. Thank you notes, cards, photos, awards, etc. can go into this folder. In essence, put anything that makes you feel good and/or reminds you of your own greatness in this file.
Keep this folder close at hand and on a regular basis take it out and look through it. Looking at your sunshine file will continue to remind you of the good things you are doing, how much people appreciate you, and the progress that you are making. This file can also be very helpful when things get tough. Often in the midst of challenging times, we forget to appreciate ourselves. Ironically, it is precisely when things get difficult that it is most important for us to remember the good stuff and to appreciate ourselves. Your “Sunshine File” is a valuable tool that will help you create greater fulfillment and success in your life. Have fun with itn
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