Use Eye Contact to Improve Your Relationships

Have you ever wondered why some people make friends so easily?

Do you wonder why they are popular and act as friendship magnets? Do you wonder what you're doing wrong?

If you're not making friends easily, it might not be your clothing style, or your financial status that is to blame. It might not be that you're too fat or too thin. The real problem might be that you are not making eye contact effectively with other people when you talk to them!

It might be hard to believe that something as simple as making eye contact can have an effect on whether or not other people like you, but researchers into human behavior have discovered that very often, the people who make friends the easiest, and get the most dates, just naturally make a lot of eye contact when they talk to others.

And researchers have also discovered that those people who find it hard to make friends are often those who are too timid to look others in the eye when they talk to them.

If you have been too nervous to look others in the eye when you talk to them, chances are that you don’t make friends very easily. However, learning to make eye contact effectively is a skill that you can develop and improve.

If you never make eye contact with your conversation partner, then other people will think that you are nervous. People may even decide that you are untrustworthy if you never look them in the eye.

On the other hand, staring too directly at another person, with a hard, unblinking gaze can make them feel intimidated. Mix in lots of smiles and nods to look more friendly.

It can be very unpleasant to be on the receiving end of an intense stare, particularly at close range.

The good news is that you can also start using more frequent eye contact with other people and you will appear more socially confident and desirable.

Smile more often and nod at what your conversation partner is saying to show that you are following the conversation. Make your gaze less intimidating by looking at the other person's entire face, instead of staring deeply into their eyes.

You need to learn a good balance between making eye contact and looking away.

If it really bothers you to look directly into another person's eyes, you can look at the person's face without focusing solely on the eyes.

Let your eyes go a little bit out of focus, and look in the general area of the other person’s eyebrows or nose. This is close enough to the eye region so that you will seem to be looking into their eyes.

Keep the majority of your focus on the other person when you are making conversation with them. Don't look around the room too much, or your conversation partner will worry that you are bored with your conversation and that you are looking for someone else you would rather talk with.

While the other person is talking, let your facial expression change while you are listening to them.

Occasionally glance away briefly while you talk or while you are listening, but keep bringing your attention back to the person you are talking with.

Show other people that you are really paying attention to them and that you enjoy talking with them. Then they will be much more likely to want to have more conversations with you, and they will be more willing to let a friendship or deeper relationship develop.