Selling Ourselves: Overcoming The Tyranny Of The Ego

Most people remember the line “show me the money” from the movie Jerry Maguire. But there was another line that people who sell themselves and their services for a living ought to have heard. It wasn’t until Tom Cruise said to his love interest, “you complete me”, that he finally made the sale. He admitted that he was insufficient when they were apart. In admitting that weakness he put his ego aside and finally made the sale.nnPeople who are selling an intangible product, like legal services, must also learn to put their ego aside. They become the product because they are the only thing that is visible and tangible. They must overcome the tyranny of the ego in order to present the best case.nnHere’s how the tyranny of the ego works. We’re trained as children by our parents to avoid criticism and disappointment. The average child hears “no or don’t” an average of 10,000 times a year from their parents. The ego learns to help us avoid criticism and disappointment. nnAs an adult selling when we’re describing a product, say a widget, we can easily speak volumes about its qualities because if the prospect is skeptical its the product that gets the criticism. When we ourselves are the product the ego, in most people, will restrict enthusiastic selling to safeguard us from criticism should the prospect disbelieve the claims. n nEntrepreneurs selling early stage concepts must sell themselves to ensure success. Fledgling organizations require a driving force, a singular believer who never takes no for an answer and will not rest until success against big odds has been delivered. This person will be expected to believe unequivocally in themselves, their company and the opportunity. Without that unequivocal belief, the opportunity and the organization is unlikely to succeed.nnWhy then do many entrepreneurs of early stage companies not have the kind of singular belief in their opportunity? Why are some less prone to sell themselves and their company as well as they might? Are you one of those? Try this acid test…. Think of the time you have been the most enthusiastic and “promotional” about something recently, other than your own company. It could be about something you did, a friend did, or a family member. Remember how excited you were, how genuinely turned on to what had happen, and how well you might have communicated that excitement to your audience.nnNow compare that level of enthusiasm to that which you typically display regarding your own company or organization. Do you display that same level of excitement? If so, stop here. If not, read on!nnYou are capable of being enthusiastic, excited and a believer about your daughter’s hockey team, or your son’s performance in a music exposition. So you know you can do it…so what is stopping you?nnOne answer is Humility….that well regarded quality that would have us all quietly ignoring, and certainly not talking about our own personal qualities. We don’t want to “brag” for fear others will think badly of us. And many of us are concerned about letting people down if we set expectations too highly, which we may not be able to meet. As a result, we talk little or quietly about our endeavors, instead of displaying that sense of excitement, confidence and self-belief that is so necessary to pervade a young business.nnEarly stage companies have several things in common, one of which is that their risk of failure is high. That is why it is difficult to interest suppliers, employee, and financiers in early stage businesses. nnTo overcome that sense of risk, it is critical to convince all stakeholders that you, nas the primary benefactor of the business, and its Leader, are purely and totally confident in the likelihood of its success. To express this confidence may be factually correct or it may not be. More likely it is more accurate than not, but not entirely true. But you have no choice but to display a sense of pure belief and confidence…if you don’t, your prospective stakeholders will avoid you in favour of following a Leader who believes fully and totally in his or her opportunity. Humility in this case is not an asset nor an admirable quality…it is an impediment to success. How can you admire an entrepreneur who doesn’t believe in his company or his product? nnIf you do not have a full and complete belief in your company, your product and yourself, you cannot succeed as an entrepreneur. If you do not illustrate that belief to others, your likelihood of success is reduced. To be humble in that situation is to send a message that you do not believe, that you do not want to set an expectation which you cannot meet. In that case, why would anyone else take a risk on you or your organization?nnHumility does have its place, but perhaps it would be more appropriate to display it after the early stage venture has become a roaring success. At that point, humility works well because the company’s success provides the excitement for you.nnIt is often said that, if I am not for myself, who will be? That circumstance has never been more true than as the Leader of an early stage company. nnn