*The Hardest Initiative of Them All!

In my earlier work and life I was sure of what was right or wrong, black or white, correct or wrong, and the best way or the worst way to do things. I was a confident judge. Judgment was my enemy and I didn’t know it!

Not now! Life has imparted some wisdom to me and I know that whatever I perceive is nothing but an illusion. An illusion, because I know that whatever I perceive in each situation is only a small part of the whole truth. I only see a small subset of reality and therefore will never know the whole truth. Why am I writing this?

Many people develop competencies as they grow up and advance in their work careers because of that growth. At some stage of their life, they find that what served them well in the past is causing problems today. The problem could be a belief that is outdated, a behavior that is now causing problems, or a personality strength that is not used effectively with people possessing different personality strengths. The result is poor or dysfunctional interactions with employees, subordinates, superiors, or loved ones at work or in their lives. What to do?

Ok, you are feeling stress. Feedback indicates that change is needed. You are confronted with the, “I must change or be fired (divorced)” choice. Let me expand on this situation.

Past choices, good or bad have created the life you are experiencing today. If they are bad choices, then you are experiencing some stress and distress in your work and life. The opposite of course is true. So you need to make a change to start moving forward again in your life. You realize that you don’t want the past to control your future, so you must release the past. In other words, you must completely forgive transgressions of the past and live each present moment in a way that it will create the future you desire.

The hardest action of all is to admit to yourself that you may be wrong in your judgment of past transgressions. It may be that your thoughts, attitudes, or behaviors have created the present that you are experiencing.

What is the hardest initiative of them all? It is understanding that no matter what happened in the past and how you felt about it then, that it need not create your future. You can release it, approach the now in a more productive way, and enjoy a much happier future. It requires that you swallow your pride, admit that you were wrong, and look at situations with new eyes. Your past judgment of right or wrong is not important. What is important is your choice and what you do in the present that creates the future.

Apologize for the past transgressions (whether you feel you are right or wrong, it doesn’t matter). Clear the deck. Forgive totally not to remember ever again. Start over with a clean slate. In that way you build a new foundation to create the future you desire with the people in your present. Those people can be your significant other, peers at work, supervisors, friends, or any other person you interact with.

The important thing is to build healthy, positive, collaborative relationships with all those wonderful people with whom you meet, work, and live. Try it, you’ll like it!