The World Isn't Kind Just Because You Are!

October 11, 2008

The World Isn’t Kind Just Because You Are!nby Alberta Parish

From the time we’re little girls, we’re taught and even brainwashed to always be polite. We must always be on our best behavior, and put forth our best face. No matter how someone treats you, little girls are always taught to be the bigger person. Unlike boys, who often fight amongst themselves when they have disagreements, little girls are taught to never fight because it’s unladylike to fight. Instead of little girls roughing it out a little like the boys and getting their disagreements out in the open, they’re taught to suppress arguments. Instead, little girls are taught to express their feelings in a calm, ladylike manner. Of course, little girls do fight and they curse each other out. However, this behavior among girls is very much frowned upon by general society while fighting among boys is more acceptable. Society believes it’s just normal for two boys to fight. It’s called ‘boys being boys’. We believe it is part of a boy’s growth. You ever notice that when two little boys fight, the very next day those same little boys are talking to each like nothing ever happened? However, when two little girls argue and sometimes fight, they’re no longer talking to each other. They’re no longer best friends. And it doesn’t just stop there. The more popular of the two girls sometimes cause division among friends. She’ll cause girls that liked you before to stop being your friend just because she dislikes you now. I’ve seen this same behavior prevalent among grown women in the workplace. I’ve seen where if a female co-worker dislikes someone, other co-workers whom she is cool with often will blackball that person.

Little girls need to fight (without involving weapons in the fight), and then learn how to come back together again. Little girls and boys need to learn how to deal with their peers after a disagreement, because you can’t just cut everybody off every time you have a disagreement (unless that relationship is highly toxic). Some people don’t know how to deal with situations and people, because they never learned while growing up that you can have a disagreement/argument with someone and still be friends. There’s nothing wrong with being polite and kind and sensitive toward other people, but the world isn’t as nice and kind and sensitive as you are. If little girls fought more growing up, maybe when they become women they won’t allow guys to treat them like crap, walk all over them, abuse them, misuse them, and take advantage of them. It wouldn’t hurt for women to be more like guys when it comes to their emotions, but only in certain instances. Women cannot help having the emotions we have, because this is how God made us. However, there comes a time when a person can be overly emotional and overly sensitive about everything. An overly emotional and overly sensitive individual can easily be manipulated and abused. Most men can easily spot women like this. Most abusers can spot a person they know they can abuse.

I’m the kind of person that is very genuine. I don’t cut any corners in letting people know exactly how I feel about things. However, I wasn’t always like this. I remember a time when I was a very passive person. I would allow people to say mean and hateful things to me, and I would just sit there like nothing was ever said. I did this because I was taught to not engage in arguments with people. “Just go ahead and pray for them” was what I was told to do. Of course, I know now that I can have a disagreement with someone, and also pray about it. Sometimes, disagreements can lead to the end of great friendships, which has happened to me more than once. However, I’m used to rejection. I’m no longer afraid of it. I don’t go out of my way to fit into anybody’s social circle, because I’m secure within myself. I don’t always need to be in a group to feel good about myself or to feel good as a human being. I’m not saying we don’t need each other as human beings. I’m saying that if you’re the type of person who puts all your trust and hope in a friend, chances are you may be in for a very rude awakening. Friends come and friends go. Lovers come and lovers go. Husbands come and husbands go. The only someone who is consistent in your life is God Himself.

It amazes me how when a person goes out of his/her way to fit in, that is when their peers reject them more. But, when a person doesn’t make the effort to fit in anywhere, that is when people will come to you and try to knock down your walls, because they want to know who you are. It kills them that they can’t quite figure you out, and you won’t let them in so they can figure you out. It seems like you get more respect for being a brash person instead of just being a nice person all the time, because the world doesn’t really respect kind people. If the world did, it would not have crucified Jesus.

Alberta
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