Article

What You Need to Know about Choosing

Topic: Personal DevelopmentPublished February 24, 2009

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Choosing is like breathing. You do it—must do it—all day, every day. Deliberate or habitual, in matters big or small, you are always choosing—what next, what now, what if, what when.nnLike breathing, choosing can become so automatic that you are not certain how or why it works. You may not understand how or why it sometimes fails you.nnRemember these ABCs of choosing, and you can breathe easier, become better at weighing your options in every situation, and become more effective in all your choosing—deliberate and habitual, big and small. nnTwo sides to every storynnThe story of choosing has two sides—perceiving and interpreting. To choose well, you must consider each side of the story independently of the other. You must consider the whole story, of course, and yet you must always distinguish clearly between what you perceive and what you interpret. The line between perceiving and interpreting can be very thin and very flexible. You can easily mistake one for the other.nnRemember: You can only interpret what you can perceive—choosing requires both.nnWhat is and what’s possiblennTo choose well, you must consider what is that is relevant and meaningful for you. You must also consider what’s possible that is relevant and meaningful for you. What is is the linear world of apparent cause and effect, immanent reality, and your physical senses perceive this world fully, accurately, and consciously. What’s possible is the latent world, transcendent reality, and your intuitive senses perceive this world fully, accurately, and unconsciously. Your beliefs, preferences, and habits may limit your capacity to perceive fully and accurately, both consciously and unconsciously. nnRemember: You perceive consciously and unconsciously—choosing requires both.nnWhat you think and what you feelnnTo choose well, you must consider both the thoughts and the feelings that you generate in response to your perception of what is and what’s possible. You interpret logically when you apply your mental awareness and intelligence—your thinking—to consider the meaning and relevance of what you perceive. In contrast, you interpret nonlogically when you apply your emotional awareness and intelligence—your feelings.nnRemember: You interpret logically and nonlogically—choosing requires both.nnEvery choice affects both what is and what’s possiblennChoosing is a creative act, generating change in both the immanent and the latent worlds. Your choices lead you to action; your actions lead to outcomes. Your actions and outcomes create ripples that change both what is and what’s possible.nnYou perceive the continuously changing landscapes of what is and what’s possible. You may sometimes feel that the pace of change is impossible for you to keep up with, or you may feel paralyzed, unable to choose any action or outcome.nnRemember: You choose what’s possible to make what is—choosing changes both.nnRisk and rewardnnAs you perceive and interpret what’s possible, you naturally find some actions and outcomes that appeal to you, some that repel you, and some that move you neither one way nor the other. An action or outcome that repels you is a risk; an action or outcome that appeals to you is a reward. Actions and outcomes that move you neither one way nor the other are less risky and also less rewarding. Actions that appeal to you may have outcomes that repel you. Outcomes that appeal to you may require actions that repel you.nnRemember: Risk and reward are two sides of the same coin—choosing engages both.nnChoosing takes time, energy, and attention (TEA)nnYou consume a brew of your own time, energy, and attention while perceiving and interpreting a situation and your options. You weigh the risks and the rewards. You perceive, you interpret, you perceive—back and forth—all the while consuming more and more of your precious TEA.nnYou may consume only a sip, or a cup, or even a full pot of your TEA. You may take your TEA in solitude, share it in quiet conversation, or serve it freely. Your time, energy, and attention are limited resources, continuously consumed by necessary perceiving, interpreting, and choosing. When you share your TEA with others, you perceive their interpretations, and they perceive your interpretations.nnRemember: You put some time, energy, and attention into every choice—big or small.nnDivergence and convergencennPerceiving determines how long choosing continues. You must perceive enough to complete the choosing, and yet you must interpret to know what is enough.nnYou delay choosing when you devote more time, energy, and attention to perceiving what is and what’s possible and less to interpreting what you think and what you feel. Interpreting determines when choosing ends. You hasten choosing when you devote more time, energy, and attention to interpreting what you think and what you feel and less to perceiving what is and what’s possible. You must know when to stop perceiving and when to start or continue interpreting.nnRemember: You delay choosing when you focus on perceiving; you hasten choosing when you focus on interpreting.nnTEA and possibilitynnThe time, energy, and attention you devote to choosing vary with the amount of risk and reward that you perceive and interpret. Some choices need only a modest serving of TEA—you easily favor big-reward, small-risk options and ignore small-reward, big-risk options. You serve less TEA for small-reward, small-risk options. You may serve lots of TEA for big-reward, big-risk options. Your capacity for full and accurate perceiving determines how well you understand the risks and rewards involved when you are choosing.nnRemember: You allot your time, energy, and attention to choosing according to the risks and rewards that you perceive and interpret.nnTEA for twonnMuch choosing becomes routine, everyday, little sips and cups of TEA choosing. You create habits for everyday choosing, such as what you eat, how you dress, where you go, who you see. For these things you consume less and less TEA, perceiving what is and what’s possible and interpreting what you think and what you feel. nnA lot of your choosing is for special occasions, requiring you to bring out the good china for TEA. The frequency and quality of your special occasion choosing depends greatly on the amount of TEA you have spared from everyday choosing. The habitual choices that serve you well one day may not be suitable the next. “Big and scary” special occasion choices can seem bigger and scarier when you hardly ever entertain them.nnRemember: You cultivate habitual choosing to free up time, energy, and attention for higher-stakes choosing.nn** This article is one of 101 great articles that were published in 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. To get complete details on “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life”, visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/greatways2.html.

Article author

About the Author

Since 1979, John R. Dempsey has been a professional consultant in public and private sector organizations in the United States and Canada, developing and delivering effective educational and experiential workshops as well as consulting and coaching with groups and individuals. John offers e-books and e-courses and is available for personal consulting and coaching as well as telephone, Internet, and live seminars. His main Web site is http://www.optionist.com, and you can contact him via e-mail at JDempsey@optionist.com.

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