Whatever and Moving On

When you get right down to it, this has been a pretty horrible year. The world seemingly is going south in a hand basket at a break-neck speed, peace anywhere seems impossible, good news on the financial front is hard to come by and on a personal level, this year marked the culmination of five years of loss, manipulation, lies and betrayal. (but hey, I'm not bitter.....)nnI will be more than happy to see the year from the perspective of hindsight. Living through it has been an experience I could well do without. Seriously, the Cliff Notes version would have been sufficient and a major surgical procedure without anesthesia would have been less painful. nnWhile the natural reaction to times like these is to rage 'enough already!', I've learned that to be as effective as expecting to hold back a tidal wave with a paper cup. Whoever is in charge has their own timetable for the unfolding of events, and they won't be rushed. Likewise, "how could you (fill in the blank here)?" is a pointless question. There are bad people in the world, plain and simple. nnTrying to figure out the "Why" in this year, whether we're talking about the motivation behind the orgy of greed that lead to the financial crisis or how one person could possibly justify emotionally strip-mining another is just not possible. You just can't apply logic to an insane world or a parasitic individual.nnIt has been my experience that the more energy expended on trying to solve the unsolvable, the deeper the trap becomes. When the focus is on "them", whoever or whatever that might be, you give your own power in the situation away. You agree to victimization and participate in creating your own entrapment. There is no controlling what other people do or think, however, it is always possible to control how you handle a situation. It's not easy and rarely straightforward, but the choice is always there. nnIt has been my experience that every situation involves choices; sometimes none of which are appealing. In focusing on them, rather than the injustice of a situation, you move from being victimized to owning a situation. Hard as it may be, it is the only way out.nnWhen there seems to be no solution, it's time to put down the other person's stuff, to stop pointing fingers or analyzing their motivation. The most gut-wrenching, yet empowering, act is to make a choice that honors you. It could take the form a casting a ballot, calling someone on their bigotry or casting aside long-held hopes to make room for new ones.nnThe most frightening and most powerful thing to do is choose to move on.nnnblessings,nnCatiennCopyright 2009 WomanLinks.com