A Failed Marriage – Can It Be Saved?

Introduction: When a couple start to lose respect and understanding of each other, the marriage tends to run into troubled waters, often resulting in divorce. Every individual has different feelings and expectations which may be unique to them. In a marriage such unique feelings and expectations have to merge at some point and form a bond not unlike that of a good and trusted friendship. This happens in the early stages of marriage while the couple still looks at each other with rose colored glasses. The little thorns of differences are borne with patience. However, with the passage of time, these little thorns and the pricks they deliver seems to grow in impact and frequency and often result in the couple taking up two different corners – like boxers ready to spar. It becomes a clear case of alienation of affection. When there are children involved, it becomes a case of parental alienation. When divorce seems the only option: With the couple reaching a stage of alienation in their feelings towards each other, there seems to be no option but to end the marriage and seek divorce. It could be an uncontested divorce if one partner feels totally to blame. It then also becomes easy for the legal representative to arrange for a divorce settlement agreement. This would involve issues like who gets custody of the children. Who keeps the family home? An amicable settlement of all properties and monetary issues between the two parties. If the divorce goes along these lines, instead of engaging a senior divorce lawyer who could prove expensive, cheap divorce lawyers are available to handle simple divorces. Paralegals are a good choice and quote rates starting from $150 to initiate the proceedings. However, if the divorce proceedings start to get complicated, a paralegal is not qualified enough to offer any legal advice. Ways to avoid a divorce: As explained above, it is when the two people involved in a marriage start to lose respect for each other, or when one partner indulges in totally damaging and irresponsible behavior. The vows taken during the marriage ceremony are forgotten and are replaced with anger, resentment, frustration and helplessness. When one or both parties start bending under such pressures, the word ‘divorce’ starts making an appearance on the marriage scene. As divorce at most times is a messy affair – for the couple, children if any, even in-laws – if there is any chance at all to save the marriage it should be given a try. Couples should attend joint marriage counseling sessions with a professional marriage counselor and try to sort out their grievances against each other. Sometimes it is petty issues that get blown out of proportion. Discussing the same and getting guidance from a counselor can bring such problems to their rightful level. Openness, respect and tolerance are virtues that can go a long way to saving a marriage. A good marriage is truly like a good and lasting friendship between two people. It is a friendship that needs to be nurtured. In spite of this if a divorce does take place, the couple should build separate responsible lives, ensuring they do not make similar errors in the future.