Family Relationship

If we were to dissect the superficial front of families we would find, strife, jealousy, fear and hatred and no holiday within the family feels like a blessing. Love brought families together. Love that binds the family together is often taken for granted, by the parents and the siblings.

When grown adult families come together, then everyone needs to remember that they are adults, and not children. I have posted a saga of two families One family focuses on abundance, gratitude, blessings and love. The other family focuses on power, individual differences, lack, and fear. Thanksgiving, Christmas and the upcoming New Year are times when our thoughts turn to our birth families as we attempt to share time with our families.

Family one understands that life is challenging, beautiful and different for each member of the family. The parents are supportive of their children, and provide the necessities of life. They enjoy each other’s company, and no one seems to be fighting for compliments, being heard or being seen. This family believes that love brought them together, and love will sustain them throughout the life aging process.

This number one family believes that life is full, and there is much to gratefulness and thankfulness. Love is endless in this family. Each individual brings to the family their own uniqueness which brings more depth within the family. With more depth comes richness and more meaning within the family. In fact deeper conversations and sharing becomes as easy as pie. Strife, dis-respect or jealousy seem to be only conversation topics. Personalities will on occasion clash, (after all we are human) but that’s just it; the clash comes, and is gone within minutes. These members of this family share the heartaches, trials, struggles equally. They also share abundance and love equally.

Family number two is quite different. Each member holds grudges, and they come together under the parental control even as adults, and are still struggling to be their own person. The strife is evident as the gathering starts. This family lives in fear, lack and despise each other. They become jealous of what the other has accomplished, and not supportive. When they gather under one roof they revert back to the conditions of childhood. The parents are in control, and the children know nothing.

This second family everyone struggles to find their own voice, and they want to be seen as themselves, not what someone sees them. The moment the family arrives the strife is evident, and underlying. Each member feels the strain of not being loved, and not having enough love to go around. The fun and cheer of the holiday doesn’t last very long, for someone will say something that will feel unwelcome, and the strife begins.

This second family doesn’t intend to have holiday gatherings like this, but they ar not sure how else to be. They are being the kind of people that they were taught from generation to generation. This family must walk on eggshells when sharing personal thoughts, and endeavors. This family gets along, but not without judgment, shame or blame.

Family number one, focuses on abundance, and love. Family number two focuses on what they don’t have, or their own fear. Family number one is a rare family, but that doesn’t mean that family number two can’t be like family number one.

This is the time of year to begin to focus our thoughts and minds on abundance, and love. We have so much to be thankful for, and we each are unique. If allowed each individual in the family has something worthwhile to share, and to give. Love is always abundant. We must let go of our judgments, our shame and our willingness to blame others for our own behaviors.

Take time to be grateful for who and what you are. Know that you were brought into this world with love, into a family that truly wants to love. If your family doesn’t know how to be without blame, shame or judgment then show them through your own actions. Time and families are precious, and love is abundant.