A Mother's and Baby's Story

Over the past few months, I have had the honour of working with little Mary and her mother, Dee. Dee has given me permission to write about their experience but their names are change to protect privacy. I started working with Dee as part of my research project for my biodynamic craniosacral training. At that time Mary was 6 months old and did not sleep - hence her mother did not sleep.

When I first interviewed Dee she said that Mary did not sleep, but that she herself was fine and not feeling stressed. She has another daughter, 7 years old, who is very calm - nothing like Mary. I asked Dee what her pregnancy had been like to which she replied that it was good and she had delivered in hospital with a midwife. Nothing had gone wrong, not like with her son.

Dee then went on to tell me that she had lost a baby 18 months prior. She and her husband had been planning on immigrating to Canada and just waiting for the baby to be born so they could put the name on the immigration papers. Her birth was attended by a midwife (in Britain), but not the midwife who had seen her throughout her pregnancy. During labour, Dee felt something was wrong. Her midwife did not take her to hospital and her precious son died during birth. There was a thorough investigation into all those involved and the sequence of events that led to his unnecessary death; with the midwife at fault and nothing more they could do they proceeded to come to Canada.

They arrived in the winter and her husband was set to start his new job, only to find out that the place he was to be working at had blown up 2 days prior to him starting. She was also dealing with reapplying for their work visas as the laws had changed since they had 1st applied and as there was no job, they thought they may have to return to Britain. They had moved into a house and she was dealing with moving a household overseas and unpacking. Dee stated that somewhere in all that, she got pregnant.

Having heard this story, I asked Dee if she had been worried about the baby while she was carrying her. She was not worried about the pregnancy but was fearful of birthing. She said that in the end the birth was lovely and she has a wonderful healthy daughter. Dee also said that Mary is very watchful and wakes at the least noise. She slept for at most 2 hours at a time since birth and wakes in an anxious, fearful state.

For the first few months I worked only with Dee. She felt the sessions were helping her relax and although Mary wasn't sleeping any better, Dee was better able to cope with the lack of sleep. Dee was able to feel settled for a few weeks, then was ready for another session.

As I was still a student (in cranio) working with Dee I did not feel comfortable working with infants at that time. In July Dee and Mary returned after a number of weeks since the last session with Dee. She was very stressed as Mary was still only sleeping 3 hours at a time and very little overall. Dee was feeling that it was stressful for her, but also for Mary as she never seemed to get into a deep restful sleep. I said that I would give Mary a session and we could see if anything changed.

Mary was asleep in her car seat when I worked with her. Even in her sleep I could not make physical contact with her as she would jump and pull her foot back and start to wake up. I worked with my hands about 4 inches from her feet. During the sessio
I felt a great deal of anxiety surface, then a relaxation in both my and Mary's bodies. She felt much more settled following. She woke after about 25 minutes and looked for her mother, but not with the hyper-vigilance I had witnessed before. I asked Dee to let me know if she noticed any difference over the next few days.

Two days later Dee sent me an email stating that Mary had slept through the past 2 nights. Dee felt that Mary was less anxious and her fear on waking was gone. What a change for not only Mary, but her whole family! Since that time I have continued to work with Mary. She is much calmer and although she doesn't always sleep through the night, she goes back to sleep without much fuss. And of course Dee is feeling less stressed as she is more rested.