A New Kind of Charisma

Many people have heard of the word "charisma." We all know those charismatic people that light up a room, draw our attention, and gather engaged folks around them. Charisma is defined as someone’s ability to attract, charm, and influence those around them. When we think of charismatic people, we think of that pull we feel toward them. A lot of articles are written on how to be a charismatic leader. People also debate the value of charisma - it can be important for success, but it also needs to be backed by more meaningful values. However, most people don't talk about the second kind of charisma. This quality is not new, but before now, we did not have the language for it. What is inverse charisma? Inverse charisma is not the opposite of charisma; it's merely the opposite direction of pull. Inverse charisma is someone’s ability to bring the best out of other people. They make the people around them more compelling through their presence and attitude. Not only have they made the conversation about you, but they’ve made you more interesting with their questions. When you’re with someone with inverse charisma, you find yourself excited to share and dive deeper into your thoughts. People with inverse charisma encourage this self-exploration. What Inverse Charisma Is : Inverse charisma is made up of strong listening skills, genuine curiosity, and humble acceptance. You must be present and engaged with the person you're talking to. In doing so, they will feel encouraged to be their authentic selves. You also must be able to ask good questions. They lead the conversation, but you guide them to their passions. What Inverse Charisma Is Not: Inverse charisma is not forced sharing or manipulative. We can sense when people have a hidden agenda, or when they're holding back judgment. It's also not forced sharing (which, contrary to myths, is not vulnerability). A person must feel emboldened to share, not coerced into it. Inverse charisma is an important quality to have. When you demonstrate inverse charisma, you will strengthen your relationships, build trust, and create a positive culture. To learn more about how to develop your inverse charisma, check out the post What Is Inverse Charisma and How to Develop This Vital Skill.