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A Simple 3-Step System to Forgive a Cheater and Enjoy a Happy Relationship

Topic: Overcoming Adultery and InfidelityPublished March 22, 2011

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So, your girlfriend cheated on you? I’m truly sorry to here that. It’s a real challenge to have to deal with something like that. Sure you could dump her, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but this could also be an opportunity to try to deepen your love and learn to forgive and accept despite something devastating like cheating. Here are 3 steps you can take to forgive your girlfriend and enjoy your relationship together. Talk It Out - Talking is by far one of the best ways to get to the bottom of any relationship problem. It’s a pity that more people don’t do it. Simply sit down and tell her exactly how what she did made you feel. Also try to understand her point of view. See if she cheated because felt something was lacking in your relationship and she felt that she had to look outside of the relationship to get her needs met. What is most important is that the two of you can set aside the urge to argue or play the blame game and simply have an honest discussion about how the situation makes each of you feel. Make Her Promise to Be Loyal - Make her promise not to do it again. Be sure that she knows that you’re not going to tolerate cheating anymore. Make sure that she doesn’t just “promise” in an attempt to smooth things over without any real intention of changing her ways. The last thing you want is to just be a doormat acting as her “safe” guy who she can always fall back on while she’s really out shopping around for another boyfriend. Make her promise to never do it again and tell her that if she does, the relationship is over. You mean business here, so don’t sugar-coat it and make sure she understands that you are serious here. Let Go of the Cheating - The last thing you need to do is to simply let go of what she did. I know that it can be hard to get rid of those images of her with that other guy, but you’ve got to put it in the past. Remember that letting go means that you don’t keep it in your back pocket and use it as some sort of guilting device (“You cheated on me, so you owe me”) or some kind of weapon to use against your girlfriend in a fight. Forgiving is to completely let go of what happened and being willing to love and accept your girlfriend despite what she did. Trust her when she promised never to cheat again, and move on with your relationship together. Learning to forgive a cheater is not going to be easy. It can be difficult to deal with tall emotions you are going through and resolving the problems in your relationship, but that doesn’t mean it is impossible. With work, commitment, and patience, the two of you can overcome this stumbling block on the road to a successful relationship

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