Acknowledge Milestones: Proms, Graduations, and Wedding Bells

It's getting to be that time of year . . . filled with proms, graduation parties, and wedding bells. But, for some young people, there's a big emptiness because "that very important someone" won't be there for them due to deployment, illness or death. So, what can we do as a "stand-in" to help make the big day special?

• Encourage with an inspirational gift. Instead of the common gift card, think about giving a unique piece of jewelry, a special photo, a "blank journal," a keepsake box, a meaningful book, or a watch with an engraved message.
• Assist a loved one who is sick or deployed to find the perfect gift. Ask if you can help by shopping online with them for a gift or by picking something up. Offer to get a card or help wrap up the gift.
• Give a gift of remembrance. If you happen to have some of the person's belongings, consider making something meaningful out of them like a quilt from old t-shirts, a shadow box of memorabilia, or an album of treasured pictures. Be sure to choose a private moment to give this gift in case it would bring tears.
• Offer to make that signature dish that the loved one was known for. Whether it is deviled eggs, a pie, or entrée, as you bring the dish say something like, "I know I can never make this like your (mom, dad, grandmother) did, but I am making this in her/his honor. S/he would be so proud of you today."
• Send a congratulatory card or email. Perhaps you can mention how their loved one would be so proud of them, especially at this time.
• Offer to go along to help try on dresses or tuxedos. While this may be lined up already, just the offer could be special. You are at least acknowledging the importance of this event.
• Offer to hold or help with a party or shower. Significant life events need to be celebrated. If the family is unable to put together a party or could use some help, offer to jump in and do whatever is needed.

Big life events go on even if a loved one is not there. We all have a chance to add to the celebration, stand in for a friend or family, and make it joyful and memorable. Copyright 2014 Allidah Hicks and Bonnie Knuti. All rights reserved.