Advice To Mentors

"The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own."- Benjamin Disraeli

You have probably heard it said many times that mentoring is a very helpful experience for both parties involved. I agree! I wholeheartedly recommend that you seek out mentors for yourself, and serve as a mentor for someone else when you have the chance.

While it is a wonderful, heady experience to be a mentor, be careful that you do not harbor the illusion that a mentor dispenses wisdom to the 'blank canvas' of the protégé. You are deceiving yourself if you think this. And you are ignoring the benefit of the two-way riches you can derive from the mentoring experience.

Yes, you are in a helping role. However, you will be far more effective when you rein in your ego and enable your protégés to realize their strengths so that they can capitalize on them.

One of my favorite mentor models is Nadia Boulanger. Unless you are a musician, you may not know her name. But I'll bet that you would recognize the names of many of her famous students. Her impressive influence on music came through the diverse and outstanding composers she taught and mentored. These included Aaron Copland, Elliott Carter, Quincy Jones, Philip Glass, Virgil Thompson, and many more. What they produced was not second-hand Boulanger compositions. If you have listened to their music, you are aware of the very different 'distinctive voices' of these composers. By encouraging each of them to compose in his unique style, she helped the world to acquire a vast and varied collection of musical masterpieces.

As a mentor it is your privilege to hear the 'voice' of your protégé and to help that individual bring his or her voice to the world. Mentors derive much joy from their work, and they help themselves as well - learning from their protégés in the process. They can be proud of their achievements while not taking credit for them. Wise mentoring means showing respect and appreciation for the person you help and providing skills and tools to sustain development of that person's special talent.

As we view our world today, let us also apply this wisdom in our efforts to help people who are in a temporary vulnerable and unfortunate situation. The highest level of giving is giving so that another can support himself/herself without dependence on others. As you assist those in need, do so with respect. Express confidence in them and their ability to rebound to a position of strength and success.

My wish for every one of you is that you enjoy the wonderful relationship of mentoring!

"All pain is fleeting and eventually gives way to well-being. On one day the person may be in the pits, and the next day on top of the world. If you can affirm the top-of-the-world person even while they are hurting, you are in the strongest position to restore their power quickly." Alan H. Cohenn