Advice for the Shy Person Attracted to Someone at Work

"There is someone at work I like but I am too shy to speak to this person. What should I do?".

The question above is asked over and over again by shy people.

The basic advice for people who find themselves in this situation is as follows.

The first thing to remember is that the person you like is a human being, just the same as you. They eat, they sleep, they go to the bathroom, they have feelings, hopes and fears and their head is full of thoughts just like you and everyone else.

This person is no better and no worse than you. You are just as valuable a human being as they are, no matter what their status. There is no need whatsoever to feel intimidated by this person. Just treat them with the respect that you would like people to show you.

You may think someone is handsome or pretty or find them attractive in some way but, until you get to know them, you can only guess at what they are really like. People are often very different away from the work place. They may be nice and kind or they could be horrible and selfish.

Until you talk to someone and get to know them, you just don't know. To find out what someone is really like, start to engage them in small talk. For instance you could say "Good morning. How are you today?" or "Hello. Have you got lots of work on today?" or "Hi, how's it going today?"

Just think of simple little questions you could ask that would be relevant to your work or work place. Always listen carefully to the answers as you may have follow up questions. Listening is the most important skill of conversation.

Asking appropriate questions is another very important conversational skill. As well as using questions to begin conversations, you can use questions to keep a conversation going.

Remember people love to talk about themselves. So ask the person you are talking to what films, TV shows, music, food, sports or hobbies they like.

The list of questions is endless. You can ask them how their family is. How they get on with their relatives. And once you have had a few conversations with someone and you and they are feeling comfortable with each other, you can start asking more intimate questions such as what their hopes and dreams are.

Start with simple "how are you?" questions and, if you find you like someone, gradually talk more to them and get to know them better and let them get to know you.

You only live once. Don't let shyness spoil your life.

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