Article

An Alte ative To Saying “No” To Your Kids

Topic: Child DevelopmentFeaturing bob-lancerPublished July 23, 2012

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Our parental “job” includes instilling wisdom in our children.
There are good reasons why parents would like to find an alte
ative to using the word “No” with their children.
You don’t want to HAVE to motivate your child to “do the right thing.”
Wouldn’t you love sensible ideas to bring as much inspiration to your kids as, say, the idea of shooting off firecrackers?
Having to frequently say ‘No’ can make parenting exhausting, and it causes some parents to feel that they are being too negative in the parent-child relationship.
If YOU have an issue saying “No”, and you want to instill practical life-wisdom in your child, try instead to tell your child of the reason why and what to do instead.
For instance, if your child asks for a second scoop of ice cream, instead of telling him “No”, try saying something like this to lead him to impose positive child discipline upon himself: “That would mean too much sugar, which is not good for the brain. But if you stop requesting another scoop you can have one scoop.”
This way of responding resolves the parenting issues of having to say “No” and feeling that you always have to impose boundaries for your child.
It ends on a positive note by pointing out what the child CAN have or do. It also helps the child development of understanding that actions have consequences, and to consider the consequences before acting on a desire.
Disciplining children is never all that much fun. The sooner our kids can responsibly discipline themselves the better.
By providing your child is a simple, brief explanation of what is undesirable about what she wants you actually educate her about what is good for her.
At the same time, you motivate your child to cooperate with you by helping her to see the positive outcome of cooperating with you: specifically, not requesting another scoop results in getting one scoop now.

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