Angels with Dirty Faces

Isn’t it great to be alive? I have just come back from Coventry, where I was born and raised. I went because it was my uncle Josey’s 70th birthday. He left County Mayo fifty years ago but, fair play to him, you’d never know that to listen to him. His accent remains the same, and the simple country philosophy and wisdom that he brought from the West of Ireland has served him well in the big city.

Now he never married and likes his pint, but God help the man who would organise a Party for him or make any kind of fuss. I just said we would do whatever he fancied. So it was that on Wednesday, whilst all the rest of the family, and the world, went to work, myself and himself did a tour of all his old haunts. As you would expect, his old drinking comrades are much thinner on the ground these days. Very few of them have survived in such rude health as Joe. He refuses to be bullied by life or circumstance.

What I found deeply disturbing was the amount of boys that I grew up with who are absolutely banjaxed with the drink. I am 45 years of age, but some of these fellas look 65 or older. Many of them were great grafters and fine tradesmen in their day. Robbed of the work that defined them by the recession, and by their fondness for the gargle, the decline in some of them has been rapid. Indeed it was hard to believe I spent my youth in awe and admiration of some of these lads. So, between the old boys who came over in the 60’s, and were always going home, but never quite made it; and their sons who went to the same Zoo (sorry, school) as me, I saw a lot of hurt that day. But we had great craic as well, as the pints, the stories and the jibes flowed freely.

Later on I bumped into a few boys who had ‘done well for themselves’. This they measured in how many houses they owned, what kind of car they drove etc. Naturally, they were looking down their noses at the ‘wasters’ (as they saw them) in the corner. I have to say the contempt and hostility was mutual between the two groups. So much so, that I felt uncomfortable being in both companies.

Then it hit me. The only questions I had been asked all day by the drinkers was ‘How you doin’?... how’s the missus and the kids?... Good to see ya… Great to hear you are all happy and well… d’you remember the time…? Even when I told them what I now did Hypnotherapy for a living, I mostly got ‘Fair play to ya. It must be great to be helping people for a living. Of course there was some unmerciful mickey-taking as well, but all in good craic.

It was only when the ‘success stories’ and blowers came in that the questions changed. Then it was all about what have you got? How big is your house… is it detached… I’ve got this… I’ve got that… I’ve got this many fellas working for me… look at the state of your man… heard his missus left him… can’t say I blame her… blah blah blah. So I picked up my pint and went back to the hardened drinkers, young and old, who had shown me nothing but kindness, dignity, and respect (love even), all day. Because in their company, despite each of them fighting their own demons, there was a dignified, down to earth honesty and respect for their fellow man. They did not judge others.

I know, and they know, that in the end they will not find what they are looking for at the bottom of a pint glass (God knows they have looked in thousands).

I also know that the ‘Blowers’ are equally lost. They are as likely to find contentment and fulfilment in the ‘things’ and the bling they covet so much, as the drinkers are to find lasting peace in a pint glass. The difference is that …at least the drinkers KNOW they are in pain. The empty vessels standing in judgement are simply deluding themselves.

I would hate anyone to think of these few thoughts as an attack on people who have lots of money. Far from it. We all know many people who have money who are still humble, loving, generous people. Acquiring money never changed their outlook on life and their fellow man. I also know plenty who only have to have a fiver more than the next man before they start to look down their nose and judge. So this is not even about money, it’s about wealth – and they are often two very different things. It’s about not losing our humanity in a fast-paced world. It’s about community. It’s about family. It’s about love and respect. And most of all it’s about loving yourself, and your fellow men, women and children. Thank you for listening.