Anger Management with EFT in a homeless shelter
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I was invited into the local homeless shelter, to introduce EFT to a group of women there. It was quite an experience, something I’d like to share.
On my way to the homeless shelter I started to think about how I would best start out to get the attention of those women. They all live under extreme conditions; all are in need of shelter, food and many other things that are required to survive.
When I got into the room and looked around, I could sense the abuse many had suffered. Latent fear and aggression were overpowering in the room. So I started out with:
Even though I am angry….. I am okay
Even though I’m filled with it …. I am okay
Even though this anger takes my breath away…. I accept myself the way I am
Without hesitation everybody followed, some quietly, most of them looked as if I had suddenly awakened them, as they went along. Personally, I like to yell when I talk about being angry. It feels very freeing to me, and the results are always powerful and quick. So everybody in the room started to yell with me:
I am soo angry….life is unfair….. I am angry …. very angry …. this anger needs to get out …. but I’m okay anyway
I want it to leave….. I want to breathe easy again … this anger is strangling me …. I feel like yelling and screaming …. like kicking and hissing ….. I’m sooo full of anger …. takes my breath away …..hard to imagine I’ll be better soon… but I am okay anyway
Even though this anger needs to get out now ….. it’s heavy and pressing me down … still takes my breath away ….takes up too much space inside… life is so unfair …. and I feel like I can’t do a thing…. to get out of this situation …. out of this mess …. feels hopeless …. and very sad…. but I accept myself and my anger totally and completely
As we went through several rounds I reminded them at each tapping point to “stop, breathe and stay with your issue. “
We went on with:
Even though I am still angry….. I now choose to be open to believe… that good things can happen to me …. and probably will …. because I can calm down now …. at least some …
I choose to understand … that what I am sending out … is what I am getting back ….
I choose to remember this …. at least once in a while ….
That’s why I choose to calm down now…. to breathe deeply …and relax a little …. and imagine myself smiling …. in a good way … and people will smile back to me …. that makes me feel good … accepted … and part of life out there….
The women looked at each other; some had bright, happy smiles, some smiled more timidly.
I choose to find …. that smiling makes me feel good …. makes me look good …. I like myself …. I like when others smile back to me ….
I choose to feel accepted as the person I am …. that feels good …. and I notice …. I can breathe and feel calm and relaxed …. I feel good …. I am well …. I feel motivated …. I can do things … for myself and others …. and that feels good ….
All is well with me!
When asked for their 0-10 intensity numbers (which had been very high in all cases), many of them had a two, several a zero. They felt excited and started asking a lot of questions. When it was time for me to leave, the women already talked about using it daily from now on, to keep the anger under control. My short demonstration had accomplished what I had wanted so badly for all of them: to give them back control, at least some!
And don’t you always love it when that happens? I do for sure.
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