Article

Are midlife happiness and being spiritual or religious linked?

Topic: ReligionFeaturing Frank BonkowskiPublished May 18, 2010

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This article examines the connection between happiness and spirituality from a mid life perspective. It presents some recent research and looks at the benefits of regularly attending religious services. Religion and spirituality is widespread According to Religioustolerance.org, there are about 40 organized religious faith groups around the world. The major world religions, such as Buddhism, Christianity, Islam and Judaism to name a few, each have over three million followers. There are millions of others who practice spirituality in the form of meditation, prayer and contemplation. The light side Religiousness as well as spirituality is often the target of jokes. Well-known iconoclast Bill Maher tells this story of three women and their sons: Three women are chatting about the qualities of their sons. The first one says: “I am happy that he has decided to become a priest: Every time he enters a room, people look at him with respect and exclaim: 'My father!'" The eyes of the second woman shone and she commented: "Well, I'm even happier to know that my son not only followed the priesthood but was appointed cardinal. So, when he comes into the room, people lower their heads in respect, kiss his hand and say: 'Your Grace!'" The third woman remains in silence. The other two turn to her and ask: "And what about your son?" "Well, my son...is six feet tall and handsome, with fair hair and blue eyes. Every time he comes into a room, people look at one another and say: 'My God!'" The serious side Religiousness and spirituality is also the subject of much serious research. A growing body of psychological science is suggesting that religious (including spiritual) people are happier, healthier, and recover better after traumas than non-religious ones. For example, 47 percent of people who report attending religious services several times a week describe themselves as “very happy,” versus 28 percent of those who attend less than once a month. Researchers don't know why! One study, conducted at the University of British Columbia, showed that spirituality was a more important contributing factor to children's (8-12 years of age) happiness than religious practices. Spirituality (an inner belief system that a person relies on for strength and comfort) and religiousness (institutional religious rituals, practices, and beliefs) were positively correlated to increased happiness in adults and adolescents. According to the authors, "Enhancing personal meaning may be a key factor in the relation between spirituality and happiness." Expressing and recording acts of kindness toward others as well as acts of altruism and volunteering may help to make children happier. Midlife coping strategies What does this have to do with midlife coping strategies? The same strategies apply to midlifers. Taking on a "game worth playing," being fully engaged, quality relationships and being of service all contribute to mid age happiness. Perhaps there is no real difference amongst the religions; the spiritual principles are shared. Both religion and spiritual practice can contribute to happiness. Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness, speculates on the benefits of going to religious services on a weekly basis. She assumes that the regular ritual provides people with:
• social and emotional support from other members
• affirmation of their identities, values, and lifestyle
• reinforcement of their meaning in life (e.g., “We are more than just a momentary blip in the universe”)
• comfort in the face of hard times
• distraction from stresses and hassles
• compassion for those less fortunate
• inspiration, awe, and hope (e.g., “I can do this,” “I’m stirred to go help someone today or forgive my enemy or save the planet.”)
• a sense of control and strength to cope with challenges
• and likely much more. Spiritual awareness As people enter middle age, spirituality and/or religion become more important to them. They are aspects of the adult developmental process. Frederic Hudson, author of The Adult Years: Mastering the Art of Self-Renewal notes: "The second half of life is about moving beyond "ego" concerns into the life of the "self, a spiritual aspect of mature life. Through the conscious development of an inner self, we discover connections to universal qualities of life everywhere. This spiritual awareness transforms our sense of purpose, and we begin to pursue a higher consciousness characterized by wholeness, reflection, and trust – investing our energy in forms of life and work that will outlive us." I want to acknowledge Dr. Fred Horowitz for his contribution to this article.

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