Article

Are You Sexually Connecting With Women?

Topic: SexualityPublished February 6, 2010

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Desire for sexual abundance was probably the reason most of us got into the seduction community… …but it may be our greatest undoing as well. The allure of it is all-pervasive. With the promise of complete sexual abundance, whether that be with many women, or just that “one” you’ve been aching for… …it was this “in-the-not-to-distant-future” fantasy that kept us going. But what happens when we get there? We’ve been chasing this fantasy for so long, and we’ve been more caught up in the steps to achieving said fantasy, that we’ve lost sight of what it is we really desire. Sure, you’d love the conquest of the act. But I put it to you that it’s not the conquest you’ve been yearning for, deep down, but rather the connection that occurs through that moment. Or rather, the connection that is POSSIBLE in that moment, if you’ll allow it. Sexual connection; to be wanted; to be desired; to feel good enough. To feel like you ’scored’. When you end up having sex with that one woman you REALLY want (for you it may be a that gorgeous "perfect 10", or the girl next door you’ve been fantasizing about since high-school), everything is supposed to be OK. But if you’ve been chasing it for so long, if you’ve been so focused on perfecting the steps of arriving at this moment, quite often there’s nothing available to give in these moments of expected ecstasy. Connection, if that’s what you truly seek, is available through openness. Your ability to be vulnerable, and to share that vulnerability with a woman. And when are we at our most vulnerable, but when we stand physically naked in front of a woman. The first reaction, in an instant such as this, is to close down, or put up some sort of barrier to protect yourself… …it may be the macho veneer, it may be the “freeze-out” (a technique championed by a man by the name of Mystery in his book "The Mystery Method"), it may be some other technique you’ve learned in your travels to becoming a God of picking up women. But that very thing will stop you from experiencing the one thing that drove you in the first place. Your shield, built by your own insecurity, will be the very thing that stops you from FEELING the one thing that could dissolve that insecurity in a second. And what about the woman standing opposite you? Do you think that she doesn’t yearn for the very same thing you do? Do you think she doesn’t have her OWN insecurities? In building her up as you have, you’ve just created more room for this beautiful woman to fall in your own eyes, and hers. In this moment of rawness, you are nothing but two human beings, potentially sharing a moment of intimacy that has the potential to be a beautiful experience, IF you let down that barrier. IF you are willing to be brave enough to be vulnerable. IF you are willing to forget about the path you’ve traveled, and the habits you’ve picked up, and leave them on the floor with your clothing. Just be with her, insecurities and all, flawed as you are, and still willing to open to her in a moment of insecurity dissolving connection. She may not respond: it’s very possible. But at least you were willing to give it the opportunity it deserves. At least now you’re one step closer to the REAL path you set out on. At least now, even if it’s only a one night stand, she was able to experience somebody who was brave enough to be real.

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