Back to School Jitters

We are into the second full week of August, and I have received my first call about a child who is anxious about school starting. The reminders are everywhere. The advertisements are on television for back to school supplies and clothes. Children with learning disabilities and others who are simply anxious are beginning to have difficulty sleeping at night. They might also be more irritable and rigid during the day. How to cope? This is no fun for parents either.

1. The first step for parents is to recognize that this change is about worries; not bad behavior. Set limits on behavior, but address the cause.

2. If your child isn’t talking about it, bring it up yourself from time to time and wonder what her thoughts and feelings are. Some kids are going to new schools, and they are worried that they will get lost, or won’t have friends in their class, or that there will be mean kids there. Others may have heard that the work is much harder in the next grade, and they worry that they’ll have too much homework. Just talking about these worries is helpful.

3. Validate. It is very tempting to tell your child, “Don’t worry. Things will be fine.” If your child knew how to stop worrying, she would. It’s more helpful to say that you understand. Sit with your child and the worries first. Just understanding helps decrease the anxiety. Arguing increases it.

4. Check out the school. For some kids, especially those with Asperger Syndrome and Nonverbal Learning Disability, it is difficult to anticipate how things will look and feel in a new grade. Start taking a walk, bike ride, or drive to the school every few days. This helps your child get acquainted with the route, if it’s a new one, and just review if it isn’t.

5. Visit the school. As the start of school approaches, teachers will be in their classrooms setting up. Go on in and introduce yourselves. It will be very helpful for your child to see the classroom and meet the teacher. Don’t stay long. It’s a busy time for teachers, but most will understand why you are there.

6. Remind your child of the anxiety management strategies he has already learned.