Article

BE FREE: A Formula for Releasing a Person

Topic: DatingPublished July 31, 2011

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When you’re dating spiritually, breaking up isn’t as hard to do. I say as hard because there is always a grieving period where we need to release the attachment we have to that person. If we do not recognize this, we may either stay attached or we may build a wall against future relationships to avoid experiencing the pain again. If your partner has ended the relationship, you can BE FREE and magnetize your soulmate more quickly by using the formula below. First and foremost, remember everyone has their own process. You do not need to follow this perfectly. Grace assists us always, providing whatever we need to move forward. Where you are on your path to freedom does not matter, as long as you are willing to let go. There are no prerequisites or tests to pass to come together with your soulmate. Just being committed to this work is enough. If you need more help with releasing, here is a practice for you. The first letter of each step spells out the words BE FREE. Be WillingrnBe willing to believe them when they say it’s over. This is where the Voice of Attachment that Kathryn Alice talks about in her book LOVE WILL FIND YOU (Da Capo) can seduce you into all types of crazy behavior in an attempt to keep you attached. Attachment is necessary for bonding when we're babies and dependent on our parents. It can however, fool us into desperate thinking and actions. Yes, it’s a loss and it hurts. However, a willingness to face the loss reduces the amount of time that you spend in pain. You will get over them AND you have much better to look forward to. Realize they have done you a favor by being honest and ending something that was not a good fit. If you’re resisting this step or are waffling, you may want to ask yourself why you want someone who does not want to be with you? All they are saying is that they are not your one. Not letting go in essence is keeping you from realizing your dream relationship. There is someone for you, no doubt about it. And you will not have to convince them that you are the one for them. The right person will deliver that message to you LOUD and CLEAR in both words and action. EsteemrnThink highly of yourself and honor yourself. Feel your feelings, knowing that this will pass. Allow yourself to feel the loss without reconnecting with them. Closure can be attained without contact. Release moment-by-moment. Take it one step at a time. At first they may come to mind continuously. Gradually, as long as you do not reconnect, they will disappear from your thoughts. Remember, your feelings during this breakup are indicative of your capacity to love and feel deeply. Remind yourself that you will get over this. If you thought that this was IT, realize that your soulmate will make this relationship pale in comparison. Seek support that is meaningful to you and uplifting. Sometimes this means going outside your social circles and enlisting the help of a coach or counselor. FaithrnYou get love AND they will meet you MORE than halfway. Shore up your confidence that you get your soulmate. If you are having a hard time believing this, start looking for evidence. Those who are willing to believe find this evidence in droves! Look for love stories in the newspapers, online, and in your everyday encounters. Soulmate love exists. Release, Right Action, and Replace.rnMake a clean break. If you have a tendency to spend time wondering what you did wrong, remember that love is not logical. I have yet to see someone benefit by analyzing where it went wrong. You will see the value in the time spent together in retrospect, believe me. It’s happened for thousands of others. Until you are willing to release the unavailable, recognize that YOU are unavailable. Accept that there are no mistakes. Be willing to extract the good that you can find from the experience, and leave the rest. Releasing gets easier with time and practice. Every time the person you are releasing comes to mind, take a moment to bless them and send them on their way. If you feel you have a reason to contact them, ask God (your Source) to take care of delivering any message for you so you won't have to. EasernThis is most important. Whenever and wherever you can, look for ways to ease up and enjoy yourself, especially if it seems like the last thing you want to do. Find something or someone who makes you laugh, feel joyful, and puts you in a state of oneness. Go see a funny movie, meditate, play music, dance, or take up yoga. rnErase.rnFocus on dissolving your patterns and blocks to love, not theirs. We are always much better off if we mind our own spiritual and self-growth business. Everyone’s path is different and we really have no business fixing anyone. When you truly fit with someone, all of your cares about fixing either yourself or anyone else will dissolve. You will see that there’s someone for everyone. YES, I'm talking to you. EVEN YOU have someone who’s PERFECT for YOU.

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