Better Sleep and Labels

When you talk to people about their sleep habits (and their sleep problems), it’s amazing to see how frequently our insomnia is “self inflicted”. Our bodies want to sleep, and if we’d only learn how to get out of the way, and stay out of the way, most of us would probably be a whole lot better off.

For better sleep consistently, we need to listen to our bodies. When I hear people say things like “I just can never get to bed until after midnight”, or “I always wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep”, it makes me realize something. We’re always categorizing and labeling. Sometimes it helps. But, when it comes to this topic (and many others) it can be dangerously disruptive.

Sleep is a dynamic process. And, our body clocks do change over time. Most of us are very naturally predisposed towards “night owl” behavior through our teens and into our 20’s. Then, as we continue to age, our body clock continues to shift earlier. This is why a 20 year old might not feel tired until midnight, but grandma and grandpa had their early bird dinner at 4:30 and have been sleeping since 8.

Here’s where this can get dangerous: Joe TwentySomething is saying things like “I can never get to bed before 1 AM, I guess I’m just a night-owl”. Of course, he now believes this. Unfortunately, over the next few years, his body clock may undergo a massive shift. His “natural bedtime” may advance by 2-3 hours. But, Joe’s belief is now hard-wired.

So, as Joe approaches 30, his belief about never being able to go to sleep before 1 AM is still true (to him). His body wants to go to sleep at 10:30, but Joe won’t listen. In his head, Joe “knows” that going to bed that early is fruitless; he’ll just toss and turn, right. So, he works late, eats late, watches Conan, and gets ready for bed at 1.

What he doesn’t realize is that his body wanted to go to sleep over 2 hours ago. When Joe ignored that signal, his body went into “emergency mode”, and flushed him with adrenaline to keep him awake. After all, if he’s ignoring a clear signal from his body, there must be an emergency to deal with, so the body reacts accordingly. Just like an “overtired” toddler, Joe is now wired.

And, that’s when his head hits the pillow, and his brain won’t shut off. It bounces from here to there, from one thought to the next. And, Joe doesn’t fall asleep until 2:30…four full hours after his body wanted to go to sleep. In the morning, Joe is beat, so he turns to coffee. “I just couldn’t fall asleep last night”, he thinks.
After a few months/years of this pattern, Joe will start to develop a new belief. Unfortunately, that new belief is unlikely to be “Hey, I need to go to sleep earlier”. It’s more likely to be “I guess I just have insomnia”. Yikes! A new label and one that is very difficult to shake!

People cling to their “insomnia” label like a teddy bear. It becomes a part of them, a part of who they are. They try pills, prescriptions, anything external is worth a try. They always ask the same thing, “Will this help ME? With my insomnia?”

In many cases people would rather defend their identity and their label than actually solve the problem they’re experiencing.

If you’re reading this, then you’re part of the SelfGrowth.com community, so you probably already realize how dangerous labeling can be . The sooner you let go of the labels and are willing to change your beliefs, it’s amazing how fast can change anything. Whether it’s sleep patterns, diet, relationships, anything. Be willing to deal with what really exists, rather than what you labeled something to be yesterday, last week, or 8 years ago.

Maybe you can think of other situations where reality might shift, rendering our labels useless (or worse, disruptively inaccurate)? When you see something in your life that isn’t working the way you think it should, go back to your beliefs and reevaluate. Sometimes, a small shift can make all the difference.

And, by the way, you’ve probably realized everything is easier when you’re well rested. So, as you continue on your journey, always protect your sleep. It’s a tremendous investment in your health, outlook, and productivity.