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Body Freedom Exercise (13): Touch Me Like This

Topic: TantraBy Al Link and Pala Copeland, the Official Guides To TantraPublished Recently added

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Touch Me Like ThisnnTime for Exercise: 20 minutes to several hoursnnProperties Required: water, oil, or silicone lubricants and sex toys (optional)nn Steps:n
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  1. Invite your love to an erotic demonstration of some ways you would like to be touched sexually.nn
  2. Set a time frame or leave time open-ended and see what develops.n

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  3. Be specific in showing and telling your love what you want. Experiment with using proper anatomical names for body parts (e.g., vulva, vagina, penis, perineum) and exotic Eastern terms (e.g., lingam and yoni, jewel and lotus, jade stalk and cinnabar gate) as well as slang terms (e.g., prick and pussy) and your own playful names (e.g., dashing warrior and juicy peach blossom). Use words that turn you on and are clearly understandable for your partner.nn
  4. In addition to naming the part to be touched, you can also give the process, technique, movement, and so on a name. Use one you have found in a book or video, or one you make up, e.g., the “corkscrew” for manually stimulating the penis or “feather touch” for stroking the inside of a woman’s thighs.nn
  5. Give specific instructions for direction, speed, and pressure. Examples: clockwise, counterclockwise, circular, up and down, in and out; slow, agonizingly slow, slow with stops, fast, very fast; and light, feather light, almost not touching, firm, hard, bruising.n

nVariations:n
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  • Take turns showing each other how you like to be touched.n n
  • Demonstrate how you prefer to use lubricants and sex toys, such as dildos, anal plugs, anal beads, vibrators.n
nnComments: Be sure you both understand this is a playful activity that has nothing to do with judgment or control. It is about adding variety and stimulating your lover’s creativity. Showing your love how you want to be touched does not mean that you do not like the way you are touched now. This exercise also develops a common vocabulary to help you describe body parts and touch techniques, making it much easier to communicate effectively in a playful, non-threatening way during lovemaking.n

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Article author

About the Author

Al Link and Pala Copeland own and operate 4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra. They regularly host lover’s romantic weekends near Ottawa Canada, and weeklong retreats in exotic locations. For more information call toll free from Canada or USA: 1-800-684-5308 Inte ational long distance: 1-819-689-5308. Visit their website www.tantra-sex.com and their blog www.askaboutloveandsex.com or send email: 4freedoms@tantraloving.com They have four books published including Soul Sex: Tantra for Two, New Page, 2003; The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Supercharged Kama Sutra, Penguin, 2007; Sensual Love Secrets for Couples: The Four Freedoms Body, Heart, Mind and Soul, Llewellyn 2007; Tantra Step by Step: 28 Days to Ecstasy, Llewellyn 2007.

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