Book Review: How to Win Friends & Influence People

This book review is part of a series that covers the topic of Relationship Advice. The Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to Relationship Advice is Brenda Shoshanna. Relationship advice concerns any guidance or suggestion about how to better manage or reconcile differences, reach agreements, and coexist peacefully in a relationship (whether that relationship is romantic, platonic, familial, or professional) from any number of third party sources.nnHow to Win Friends & Influence People is a valuable resource for people interested in Relationship Advice, and it is available through Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.nnAmazon.comnThis grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to "the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people." He teaches these skills through underlying principles of dealing with people so that they feel important and appreciated. He also emphasizes fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated. Carnegie says you can make someone want to do what you want them to by seeing the situation from the other person's point of view and "arousing in the other person an eager want." You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offense or arousing resentment. For instance, "let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers," and "talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person." Carnegie illustrates his points with anecdotes of historical figures, leaders of the business world, and everyday folks. --Joan Price --This text refers to the Mass Market Paperback edition.nnLibrary JournalnOriginally published in 1936, this is the archetype of the practical human relations handbook. Carnegie (How To Stop Worrying and Start Living, Audio Reviews, LJ 2/15/99) opens with fundamental techniques for dealing with people, such as refraining from criticism and expressing sincere appreciation. Making people like you by smiling, remembering names, and being a good listener are encouraged. Final sections describe approaches for persuading people to your way of thinking and how to change people without causing offense or resentment. These positive principles are stated succinctly and illustrated with pertinent, if occasionally outmoded, anecdotes. While critics have charged that Carnegie emphasized good manners and friendliness over proficiency, the author clearly states that his target audience is competent individuals who are less than successful because they lack people skills, a group that would be well served by his sensible guidance. Andrew MacMillan's confident, friendly narration is a worthy counterpart for Carnegie's advice, making this an appropriate selection for libraries that don't own the 1989 unabridged recording that includes the printed volume (LJ 4/1/89).--Linda Bredengerd, Hanley Lib., Univ. of Pittsburgh, Bradford, PA