***Boomers – How Do You Handle Difficult Relationships?

written by Coach Carolyn

Being estranged from someone can be very difficult, complicated, emotionally draining, frustrating and hurtful on a daily basis. How do you not to let a situation be fatal to the relationships that are important to you?

Clarity and calm communication are needed to allow for healthy change. Have you heard the buzz words “unconditional love”? Personally, I believe there is no such thing as “unconditional love”. Relationships require respect for each other’s desires and opinions, healthy boundaries and allowing for life’s inevitable changes. Don’t allow negative emotions, the past, your priorities or timeframe to discount the love you have for one another.

Three major emotions usually color relationships:

* Fear = fear that someone will be making a serious mistake; fear that they will get hurt in some way.
* Frustration = frustration that your opinion isn’t being heard or considered, much less followed.
* Anger = anger that comes from the fear and frustration. Anger that you are being discounted and, especially, the thought that you might have to fix or pay for something that you don’t agree with.

Often, if you can get past these complicating emotions of fear, frustration and anger, you’ll usually find that in relationships that are important to you, you do truly love and care about the other person and, probably, at some level they love and care about you.

To repair a broken relationship, first decide and learn to believe that the love you want to share with another is the main goal. Remember this with every decision and every opportunity you have to communicate and connect with each other. Understand and learn to deal with the fear, frustration and anger felt by you and everyone involved. Try to stay emotionally and physically balanced, while you are making good decisions for yourself, lay good boundaries, stay focused on the main goal of healthy connection, be patient and let time heal.