Breaking the Habits that Hold You Back

Forget for a moment all that you have learned about commitment to your goals, all every relative or friend has ever said to you, and all the things you regularly say to yourself. If you saw yourself in any of the descriptions of the previous newsletter or in the following words, do what I recommend all my clients do, "commit to doing something different."

Perfectionism: Are you stuck because you will settle for nothing but perfect from the first moment you start?
Habit Breaker: The perfect cure for perfectionism is failure. Fail..., flamboyantly, beautifully, even... perfectly. Test drive doing things poorly. If you are feeling blocked or stuck starting a new project, give yourself permission to do it wrong -even embrace your not knowing. There is freedom and joy to be found in this phase. If the price seems to be too large. Try messing something up that is totally free from consequence.

Should's: The "should's" in life can get so overwhelming that we don't even know that we are living by them.
Habit Breaker: A way to see if "should's" are dominating your choices is writing down your ideal. If you could have anything that you wanted, what would it be? Set your spirit free. Compare this ideal to what you are working for right now. How are they the same? How are they different? Take a moment to think about why you think things need to be this way. What might you change knowing this?

Taking yourself out of the solution: Have you created an answer to your problem that does not include your personal preferences or ways of doing things? We often look for solutions that have worked for other people and although this sometimes works sometimes it does not.
Habit Breaker: Ask yourself: Do I really want this goal? If the answer is yes, then ask: What is the easiest step for me to take? And, what is the easiest time for me to take this step.

Wrong direction: Do you feel like you are trying to move a mountain? Do you feel drained and doubtful? Sometimes we set out in a direction only to find that it is not the way we really need to go. The trick is telling between the wrong direction and our own doubts and fears.
Habit breaker: Take a moment and close your eyes. Think about your goal. Pay attention to your current goal. What sensations do you feel in your body? With some work, these sensations can be translated into a knowledge that will help you determine how you can best proceed. Although this approach takes time, once mastered it can change your life.

Timing: All the best effort can be lost in the wrong timing. Creating the right timing is nurturing the flow of your life. Determining whether you have picked the right time for your endeavor is contingent on outside factors. In other words, is the moment or situation receptive to what you are doing or offering? If you planted tomatoes in the fall they would not survive. Likewise a project or goal will not be successful at the wrong time.
Habit Breaker: Take a moment to consider all the factors. Do you need to move a little faster or a little slower? Have you provided enough time for your plans to grow and become established? Do your efforts and your desired results line up? If the answer is no, then make an adjustment. Keep trying until you are certain that you are on the mark.