Can a Father Be a Role Model for His Daughters?

As the single and sole parent of my five children for over 18 years now (2 boys and 3 girls), I hoped I would be a natural role model to my boys for the way to grow to be successful men. I wanted my boys to man up as soon as they were old enough. Work hard, be a leader, be kind to everyone, treat women with respect, protect and provide for your family, and be charitable. Qualities people think men should have.

But what about my three daughters? I couldn’t replace the mother who had abandoned them when they were so young. I could hope and trust their young damaged psyches were behind the scenes gaining more and more strength from a cautionary tale they vowed never to repeat as women. I couldn’t be a role model to my girls for the way to be a successful woman – or could I? Did I want them to “man up” too?

Was I being a good role model to them being a success in their work lives? I lived with that question for many sleepless nights. What I knew intuitively was that it was important for me and genuine to me to always tell them they were smart, beautiful and loved – which I did then and still do today. I know this is important to a girl’s self-esteem and success in the world of relationships and family.

But now, as I watch my second daughter move on in her career and out of state from where we have all grown up together, I wonder what valuable traits for manning up in the work world and being a beautiful woman they may have learned, if any from me? Did it help that as their father, I did my best to “woman up”? (Even though I didn’t like the bra-buying and other parts of being a woman)?

What even are the valuable traits? To best answer these questions, I finally just (a tad nervously) asked each of my daughters. What is the one thing they have learned from me in my examples that helps them be a successful woman today?

And here’s what they said:

Daughter #1: Work hard to be successful.

Daughter #2: It’s never too late to turn things around.

Daughter #3: The right thing to do is not always the easiest or most enjoyable thing to do.

Being a parent is like being a trial atto
ey in that you never ask your children (your witness) a question that you don’t already know the answer to. I already knew my daughters had (wo)manned-up but it’s even more gratifying to know that I may have been a role model in some way for them.

Do you think a father can be a role model for his daughters?