Can Grieving Be A Graceful Process?

How do you choose to grieve the loss of something or someone in your life? Have you ever thought about the possibility that you can be happy even in your grief? What is the most challenging piece of grief for you?

At some point in our lives, we all experience the loss of someone close to us be it family, friend, or pet. I know for me pets are the hardest; and even writing this brings up many emotions for me. I say that because pets tend to love us unconditionally. It has been less than two months since my comrade and traveling companion named Orli departed my life from Kidney Failure. I rescued her from going over a waterfall or 11 months prior and she did 1 ½ trips around the United States with me.

In addition, I have a mother that is also winding down her time on this Earth. The key is that no matter how much or how little time we have, and no matter how good or poor the relationship is there will be grief when a time of passing comes. Sometimes, we know it is coming our way; and there is a certain amount of emotional and mental preparation that can be done for it.

So many times in society we are told that we should hurt and have pain for someone’s passing. I have been blessed to know of several that wanted people to have a party and celebrate their passing; to be happy that they have moved on and left this life. Many are also told that if they do not experience pain or sorrow, that they are cruel or uncaring; and they are often made to feel guilty for their apparent lack of feelings. Ironically, I have found that many who appear to not have pain, are often feeling the loss very deeply; no matter how well they are handling things, or how aware they are that it is a positive thing for us to move on.

But, what happens when you have a life taken very suddenly from you? This is the case with Della Temple who has opened a piece of her life to the world with her work “Walking In Grace With Grief”. Her son was taken unexpectedly from this life, at a young age. Her story touches so many avenues of children that go before their parents, what her journey was like during the grieving process, and so much more. She chose to use her experience to help others; and in this brings up the aspect of grieving with grace, being able to find happiness among the grief.

I love the door that she is opening here. It is a beautiful reminder to remember the joys and the happiness that we have shared. Also, the obvious reminder to us that we never really know if tomorrow is an option. Sure, most of the time it is; and often we put off making that phone call, saying “I Love You”, or holding onto anger or other emotions instead of coming from love.

This type of thing always brings me back to a consciousness of thinking, if so and so where to pass in my life today is this the way that I would want things to end between us? It reminds me to let go, forgive, and accept people and things as they are. It sends the reminder, to never pass up the opportunity to tell someone how much you care; and to show it too. For me, grief releases in layers over time; as the year passes and memories come and go. As Della mentions in her work, there is a spectrum of emotions that happen for us in this process.

Are you finding grace in your grieving? Are you remembering the great times with joy and not sorrow? Are you celebrating a rite of passage that the soul has chosen instead of focusing only on the pain?