Article

Can You Overcome Insecurity in Your Relationship?

Topic: Relationship AdvicePublished August 1, 2011

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I'll admit that it happens from time to time. You start to feel insecure in your relationship.

Maybe your partner is getting a little too close for comfort to a friend of the opposite gender. Maybe the two of you have been fighting a bit too much lately.

But either way, you're starting to feel like your relationship is on rocky ground and you want to know what to do about it.

First realize, that by focusing your mind on the negative, you're only going to make things worse. If you become the kind of jealous person that constantly interrogates your partner after they come home, that isn't going to foster the kind of love and intimacy that you truly want to enjoy.

On the same side of things, constantly worrying about fights or arguments, will only cause your mind to focus on the things that could erupt in a fight, rather than the happy things you enjoy in your relationship.

By focusing on what you don't want, you are creating a situation that actually undermines your own relationship.

As an example, your partner feels your jealous and doesn't feel a connection with you. This might cause him to actually feel closer to his new female friend. Or trying to avoid a fight might cause you to tip-toe around important issues in your relationship. This kind of poor communication will only cause misunderstandings and more fights in the future.

Instead, try to focus more on what you enjoy the most about your relationship. Remember why you and your partner came together in the first place. Probably because the two of you were having fun together and actually enjoyed being around each other.

Try to live in the moment as well. Did you know that it is impossible to feel anxious or insecure when you are fully in the present moment? All of those feelings come from comparing yourself to others or worrying about the past or the future. Try instead to focus on what is actually happening in the here and now rather than what you fear about the future or the past.

When you focus on the things that bring joy to both of your lives and dwell in the present moment, you'll find that insecurities start to melt away. This gives you the space and openness to welcome love, passion, and happiness into your life. You can never go wrong when you follow your heart and go with what feels good.

Article author

About the Author

If you'd like to learn more about overcoming insecurity in relationships, be sure to check out the Love Advice blog that I write for where I discuss all sorts of relationship advice for people in every stage of their relationship.

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