Caring for aging parents – solutions for the sandwich generation

You have a parent-teacher conference that was supposed to start 15 minutes ago, but you’re still tied up with Mom at her physical therapy session. Since science can’t yet clone you, you’ll need to find eldercare solutions that work for you.

If you care for your own children in addition to caring for aging parents, you’re a card-carrying member of what’s called the sandwich generation. You have unique challenges, and these tips will help you meet them.

• Find adult day care services or other senior services – Keep Mom physically and mentally engaged by finding a good quality center that caters to the senior set. These centers, which you can locate through your local aging agency, offer field trips, educational classes, and exercise programs designed especially for seniors. For many families, these facilities become an important part of their eldercare solution.

• Consider non-medical home care – When you’re caring for aging parents who are relatively healthy but need help with simple daily tasks, these services can be a god-send. Professional caregivers can shampoo Mom’s hair or remind Gramps to take medication. These services can also provide companionship as part of an eldercare solution. For example, a caregiver might watch a movie with Mom while you visit a friend.

• Rally family and friends to help – If you work while caring for aging parents, it may well take a village to provide good care. Have an informal family meeting to divvy up responsibilities for Dad’s care. From teens who can help him shop to siblings who can drive him to appointments, family and friends are a crucial part of caring for aging parents.

In addition, 2/3 of caregivers report they’ve missed work due to a care crisis, so find a support network that can spring into action when Dad’s not feeling well, minimizing the time you lose at work because of caring for aging parents.

Remember that family and friends may do things a bit differently than you. For instance, that meatloaf you asked your spouse to make might turn out tasting like low-quality cardboard. Don’t complain about the effort. Instead be thankful that he or she decided to help!

• Enlist professional services – Eldercare solutions aren’t cheap, even if you decide to care for Dad at home. In fact, some experts estimate it can cost nearly $16,500 each and every year to cover the cost of both child care and elder care. In addition, 58% of those caring for an aging parent say their parent does not have enough money to support their own needs. Don’t put your family in the poorhouse. Talk to a professional financial advisor with expertise in counseling children caring for an aging parent.

Also consider advising your parent to file a living will or medical power of attorney to head off family feuds regarding Mom’s health care wishes. She’ll feel better knowing her wants are in writing and you’ll feel better knowing you took the time to plan an eldercare solution.

Caring for aging parents can be stressful for the sandwich generation, but there are resources that make the job less likely to trigger new gray hairs. Plan your eldercare solution now.