Change Your Hat, Change Your Life

A client had hired me to help her get control of her business life, which was causing her great stress. At the time, she was Executive Vice President of Franchising for one of the largest fast-food companies in the world.

A seasoned professional in the industry, with proven talents in franchise operations as well as in sales and marketing, my client (let’s call her Liz, not her real name) determined that in order to grow professionally she needed a greater understanding of Finance. Her problem was she was already consumed with the tasks and details of her core responsibilities. Her schedule allowed absolutely no extra time for anything else.

Now, one would think that an executive who had risen to the level Liz had would be skilled and adept at delegating responsibilities to peers and subordinates. But she wasn’t. She was overbooked and overwhelmed. This itself is a lesson we can all consider: regardless of the level of our achievement, we can’t do it all.

While working with Liz, I learned that she came from a large family. Since the divorce of her parents, her siblings had depended on her as the breadwinner and care-giver. It was this set of values and expectations that influenced the way she viewed and conducted her life -- not to mention how she managed her career. Even as a high-level executive, she tried to do everything herself, unwilling to let go of even the most routine tasks.

At one point, LIz said, “I don’t know, sometimes I feel like a fire extinguisher.” Hearing that, I told her to visualize herself wearing a bright red hat that looked like, well … a fire extinguisher. I guided her to imagine the hat blinking and blaring warnings like, “Urgent!” and “Emergency!” Its bright red color, I suggested, acted like a magnet, attracting projects that needed to be done “yesterday,” and people who were dependent on her to get them done.

After having LIz experience wearing this hat for a few days, I then told her to change her hat. Instead of the bright red fire extinguisher hat, I asked her to now visualize herself wearing a dark blue one, with a shield on it that said, “Fire Commissioner”. I described the new hat as demure, calm, under-stated and authoritative. These were precisely the qualities I wanted it to represent for Liz and to project to others around her.

Wearing her new hat, Liz received a whole new wardrobe of benefits. As “Fire Commissioner,” she began to feel much more comfortable letting go of control of the tasks that had piled up on her desk. By delegating them to others, she not only increased her own effectiveness as a leader, but also strengthened the skills and reinforced the independence of her team. In just a couple of weeks, she pared her to-do list from 48 items to 8 by letting go of the need to try to do it all. n
With her schedule more open, Liz was then able to pursue new initiatives, including my recommendation for her to forge an alliance with the Chief Financial Officer of the company, which helped her develop the next level of her career.

An unexpected bonus for Liz was that her freer schedule allowed her more time for her life outside of work, which she relished by going to the gym more often and by spending cherished time with her family and friends. By changing her hat, Liz changed the whole of her life.

It’s a good idea for each of us to look in the mirror every now and again. Does the hat we’re wearing – the persona we’re embodying – match who we are now and the identity we want to project? Does it align with our goals and intentions or does it clash with the wardrobe of success and fulfillment we aspire to?

Here’s a good exercise to do to determine if you are projecting the identity that is aligned with who you are:

1. Draw and/or describe the “hat you wear” in your business life and personal life.
2. What does it say about you?
3. Ask three people to describe the persona they see you projecting in the world.
4. How can you change your hat to bring these factors into alignment.
5. Try wearing that hat for the next week and see what happens within you and around you.