Child Abuse: Does Someone Have The Right To Hurt Their Parents If They Were Abused By Them?

One thing that someone can experience, that’s if they have come to see that they were mistreated during their formative years, is a lot of rage. In fact, they can feel so mad that ending one or both of their parent’s life could enter their mind.

Due to how they feel, it could be as if they were mistreated a few minutes ago, not a number of decades ago, for instance. If they haven’t taken this step already, they could end up calling or paying a visit to their parent or parents and talking about their early experiences.

An Intense Time

This could be a time when it will be hard for them to remain calm and express themselves clearly. They could raise their voice and end up shouting at one or both of their parents.

Now that many, many years have passed and they are no longer a helpless and powerless child, the power imbalance that existed before will no longer be in place. If anything, they are likely to be the ones who now have the power.

One Outcome

Now, regardless of it they do or don’t lose it during this time, they may find that they are unable to make much headway. As opposed to one or both of their parents validating what they went through, they could dismiss what they say.

If so, as far as they are conce
ed, what they say happened won’t have happened. Assuming that this is what takes place, they could be filled with even more rage and perhaps hate than they experienced before.

The Next Step

After this, they could end up feeling the need for revenge and even end up sending them a number of unpleasant messages. They could believe that they have every right to do this, along with other things, as they were treated so badly.

Behaving in this way will probably allow them to release a lot of the tension that has been building up inside them and give them a sense of satisfaction. At this point, it could be said that it is to be expected that they will be full of rage and hate and want revenge.

From The Outside

However, if someone was to become aware of how they are behaving, they could say that they are acting in an abusive manner. Therefore, irrespective of what they went through as a child, how they are behaving now won’t be acceptable.

If they were to talk to them, they could say that two wrongs don’t make a right and could even quote Gandhi, by saying that “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” This might be something that they are able to think about or it could go straight over their head, so to speak.

A Key Point

If this is something that they are unable to truly hear, it is likely to show that they are so caught up in their own pain that they are able to think clearly. As a result of this, how they are behaving will be seen as being justified.

By being this way, it will be hard for them to hear their heart and to even consider that their parent or parents didn’t consciously choose to harm them. Thus, if they were told that their parent or parents behaved as they did because they were deeply wounded, this might be hard for them to accept.

The Pattern Continues

What this would mean is that while they will have every right to feel as they do, mistreating the person or people who mistreated them won’t truly solve anything. It will allow them to let off steam but it won’t allow them to make something that was wrong, right.

Like their parent or parents all those years ago, they will be acting from a place of pain and, therefore, won’t be able to act like a conscious human being. If they want to make a wrong into a right, it will be for them to work through their pain and make a commitment to treating people, and their child or children, if they have them, in a very different manner.

The Bigger Picture

But, the pain they are currently in will make it hard for them to settle down and see clearly. Naturally, if they are often practically possessed by their pain, it is going to be hard for them to think rationally and operate from their heart.

Until they really start to make progress in this area, the idea that their parent or parents didn’t consciously choose to harm them and were acting from a place of pain can carry no weight whatsoever. Furthermore, if it was put forward to them that part of them ‘chose’ the parent or parent that they had before they inca
ated in order to ‘learn certain lessons’, this could be seen as ridiculous.

Drawing the Line

There is a strong chance that one or both of their parents were also mistreated by at least one of their parents. This is not to say that they are then not responsible for how they behaved; it is that this is likely to be generational abuse.

They can then be the difference by owning their own pain and working through it, not by reacting to their pain and being controlled by it. Still, even if they can see that this has taken place, this is not a time for them to beat themselves up; it is a time for them to see that they have been doing the best that they could with what they knew and to be kind and compassionate towards themselves.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for exte
al support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.