Children And Divorce- Effects of Divorce on Children: How Can You Minimise Them?

Parents need to understand themselves and their problems before they can fully help their children. By seeking out help for yourself , you are taking the first step in your divorce recovery process . By healing yourself and working through the emotions and issues following your relationship breakdown,known as the 'Recovery Path', you will be in a better position to help your children through this difficult time. Make it clear to your children that you love them and that your relationship ending has nothing to do with their behaviour- it is solely between you and your ex partner. This is very important, particularly for young children who can make incorrect assumptions and may, in some way feel that they are responsible for their parents relationship breakdown. When your children spend time with your ex partner try not to be tempted to ask your children what he or she is doing. Children should not be used a little ‘spies’. A relationship breakdown affects all members of the family. Your children will experience the same shock, disbelief, fear and loneliness as you, when the relationship ends. Children need as many loving people around them as possible, so encourage family members including Grandparents, cousins, aunties and uncles to keep in contact with your children.This will assist in lessening the impact of divorce on Children and the effect of divorce on children . Listen to your children . Encourage them to speak about their worries. Give them permission to be angry and perhaps unreasonable, then reassure them that you still love them. At the beginning of the article we referred to the “Recovery” path. The is a gradual process based on understanding, acceptance, increased self esteem and new skills . This exciting, revitalising route, takes dedication and hard work! The benefits of taking this “Path” are that once learned , the skills are yours for life . People who take the ‘Recovery” path are far more likely to have ‘healthier’ relationships in the future . Given that second (and third!) marriages have an even higher chance of failing (current statistics , show over 40 percent of first marriages ‘fail’ and over 50 percent of second or third marriages fail) it is even more imperative that we work through a healthy , informed ‘recovery’ from our relationship breakdown before contemplating entering a new partnership. Divorce Recovery workshops are an excellent avenue to facilitate our ‘healing’ and increase our ‘relationship skills” and self awareness after our relationship breakdown . The workshops also allow us to share our stories and express our emotions with others in a similar situation , which is has enormous benefits for participants. www.divorcerecoverycentre.com