CHOICE-Cleaned Up, Locked Up, Covered Up or Broken Up

CHOICE-CLEANED (sobered) UP, LOCKED UP, COVERED UPrnor Broken UprnI don't know when I first heard this, but since I have chosen a process of life recovery and the coaching profession, the truth of this "choice" has become very real. I hope that those of you who have taken the time to read this really reflect upon the choices. You are reading it for a reason. Either you or someone you care about has the above choices TODAY!
I used to think- in my pre-recovery days- that statements like this were on the dramatic side. Living life in recovery, and adding to recovery, working with others as a profession, has really opened my eyes.
Back as a high school kid, going to bail out a friend for drinking underage was kind of funny.
A fellow I went to high school drowned while under the influence and trying to swim a hydro pond. Friend’s families had marriage breakups, and I saw and suffered abuse due to alcohol growing up. But none of this hit home. My father died prematurely after starting daily drinking following early retirement. A friend committed suicide while high on drugs. Yet it didn't hit home.
In recovery, I've been to far too many funerals of people who have died young. For the most part, people who had given recovery a shot but for whatever reason did not get it. I've witnessed highly intelligent people spend time locked up-in jails and in hospitals. I can't tell you how many people I know who have had relationships break up; relationships that hurt many, including innocent children who have been scared for life. Throw in the jobs lost, cars wrecked, bones broken, fights and more, and it has been a real eye opener. The truth of the headline of this article has hit home.
The statistics on recovery are scary. AA World Service has public information that shows recovery failure in excess of 80%; the positive is that a percentage makes the choice and succeeds at cleaning up their act.
I face flack from a few out there because professionally, I operate a fee for service business that helps people recover their lives. I work on this basis with only a select few. I guarantee results therefore and have never had to make a refund (yet) so I must be coaching something that works. Recovery is hard and coaching it very time consuming both for me and my clients. I have never turned down anyone for "help" because of financial reasons, and continue to do "service" work when asked within my fellowship of choice. If asked in the fellowship context of service I seldom say no, but "service" and coaching are very different.
Why is it that my paying clients have a markedly higher success rate in turning around their lives than those who I work with on a "service" basis?
I am happy with the journey that is my life today- work in constant progress. Have I had a person doing "service" work with me help? Yes, and several who are on the same path as me and in the same fellowship. I talk to others daily.
I will state, I would not have got to the fellowship personally without working with a paid specialist and because I did not have insurance, paying to attend a great treatment facility that was part of a mental institution. I found the money I needed, and was blessed to be able to find it, because without this help I would have been locked up or covered up (my second marriage was already on the rocks and we were separated). I constantly took chances, and in areas including but well beyond the operation of a motor vehicle, that were high risk. All the time I maintain a home, children and to most, a facade of normalcy and respectability but constantly facing locked up or covered up.
While I have maintained an active role in my fellowship for a decade and a half, I have had occasions to engage outside professional help in addition. My 12 step program is a big part of my life, but I have required career coaching, goal coaching, marriage counselling and help with stress/work related depression. All from professionals outside of my fellowship; all a part of my recovery of a life I love living. I haven't even mention things like a message therapist, chiropractor, golf professional, acupuncturist and other services I have required that have helped me holistically live life. As a good friend of mine and noted author Paul McCabe always reminds me in his rules for living, "Life is hard and we must feed the good dog".
I did not take things seriously enough young enough and to this day do not understand how I was spared being locked up or covered up. I learned I had choice, and at 46 finally made a choice that has led to a life I like and looking in the mirror at a man I respect. My second marriage thrives and the relationship has endured 31 years. For the last number of years, we have loved differently and now share intimacy. My relationship with my four children is good considering the impact I had on them, and I might one day be a candidate for Grampy of the year. I am a friend to my friends and a good coach and mentor to my clients. I still am a contributing and grateful member of my fellowship of choice and not ashamed of that!
Today, you or someone you know is facing choice. If I can input in helping make a decision to make a good choice I will do so freely, if I can assist beyond that I am trained and competent. Please feel free to visit hopeserenity.ca or email direct at khbray@hopese
ity.ca.