Coaching supports people in living creative and resourceful lives. The idea that freedom and wholeness are our birthrights are two of the Core Principles that the Coaching for Transformation* method uses in supporting people in realizing their creative potential. In this article we will explore a spiritual luminary’s thoughts on freedom and wholeness and a story about a coaching client taking small steps to become more whole and free.
The first core principle of Coaching for Transformation is Wholeness. People are whole and at the same time moving towards a greater experience of that wholeness. Consider: What is wholeness? How do we experience it? What about the principle of wholeness is useful?
The fifth principle of Coaching for Transformation is Freedom. At every moment people have the freedom to choose our reactions to what is happening. Consider: How do we live from that freedom? Where is our freedom when we are feeling stuck?
I picked up a book that articulated a thought-provoking perspective on these principles by a great and realized spiritual master.
In 1893, Swami Vivekananda came from India and spoke at the World Parliament of Religions in Chicago. I first read his writings when I began practicing yoga in the early 70’s, and recently had the joy of revisiting some of them. His words on freedom and our inherent wholeness are as relevant today as the day he uttered them.
Vivekananda says, “One curious fact in the midst of all our joys and sorrows, difficulties and struggles, is that we are surely journeying towards freedom… your actions, your very lives will be lost without it. Every moment nature is proving us to be slaves and not free. Yet simultaneously arises the other idea, that still we are free. At every step we are knocked down, as it were, and shown that we are bound; yet at the same moment, together with this feeling that we are bound, comes the other feeling that we are free. Some inner voice tells us that we are free.
…All human life, all nature, therefore, is struggling to attain freedom. …Everything is struggling towards that. The saint is going towards that voice…so is the sinner. The charitable man is going straight towards that voice and cannot be hindered. The miser is also going towards the same destination. The greatest worker of good hears the same voice within; he cannot resist it; he must go towards the voice. So is the most arrant idler. One stumbles more than another; he who stumbles we call bad and he who stumbles less we call good. Good and bad are never two different things; they are one and the same. The difference is not one of kind, but of degree.”
As I put down the book, VIVEKANANDA: The Yogas and Other Works, I thought of a coaching client in a battle to seize her inherent wholeness and freedom. In our sessions, we explored how to find work that was meaningful; how to deal with her finances; how to redefine her relationship with money; how to work through a growing gap in her marriage, and how to face the fear of heart surgery. A successful professional woman, she was now faced with challenges which had her deeply question what freedom she had, and whether she broken or whole.
rnAs the surgery date drew near, it became clear that she needed to see herself as whole, not just isolated pieces that needed to be fixed. Deciding to face the discomfort of what was happening without judging it, our coaching helped her to allow her heart to lead the way, and literally and metaphorically, to open itself to transformation.
Through coaching she got in touch with the strength to look squarely at what was keeping her stuck. As she was able to talk about her resistance and fear, she laughed and we explored how she could turn her desire for freedom and wholeness into action. She made a bold move and invited her husband to help her sort out the medical bills and insurance issues that had been piling up for 18 months. After taking this step she sent me an e-mail that describes the transformation that began that moment.
“Subject: Took the next step!!
So we set the timer for 60 minutes and dug into a box of clutter – medical bills, old receipts, old flyers bidding discounts for shopping, articles clipped out and read or not etc. We sorted and shredded our way through an entire box!!!! The buzzer went off just as we reached the bottom of the box.
We are planning the next step – focus on the pile of medical bills - organize them first so I can do battle with the insurance company. AH HA! That will be tomorrow morning.
Anyway.... As a reward, I made dinner – totally an improv from whatever was in the fridge and pantry. Joe thought it rivaled any restaurant we’ve had the pleasure to dine in. At the risk of sounding smug, it definitely was one of my better efforts; in fact I’d go so far to say it was a winner – simple, visually beautiful and a great mix of tastes and texture.
As a bonus, we sat after dinner with our wine and talked about what we had just accomplished TOGETHER. For the first time in 21 years we were able to talk about our fears around money and how isolated each of us felt. We both felt ashamed and it was good to just say it. I think we started a new relationship with each other and with our money and our lives.”
As coaches we partner with people in the process of uncovering the wholeness and freedom that are not only their birthright, but the imperative that is always moving to make itself known. More than advisors we are mid-wife’s to this process of awakening. It is a process each of us is in, as each of our clients is also engaged in.
Throughout this and other coaching sessions with this client, we did not avoid the hard places. We explored and respected the messages of those parts of her that were holding her back, as well as those parts impassioned to move ahead. In creating the space to hear both, her self-awareness brought confidence and new ways of approaching old habits.
rnThe process of coaching is one way into the experience of wholeness and freedom. With its focus on the here and now; on self-awareness and action, we support others in listening and connecting to the great potentials pushing to be born within them. Our journey may be very individual, and at the same time very related. As you discover and share glimpses of your wholeness and freedom you help me to remember mine. Coaching is a two way street, growing both coach and client, on the path of uncovering our inherent capacity to experience freedom and wholeness.
*Coaching for Transformation is a holistically and multi-culturally oriented coaching program that is accredited by the International Coaching Federation, ICF. For upcoming programs see
www.leadershipthatworks.com or
www.opencenter.org/coaching-for-transformation-personal-and-professional-coach-training/