Codependency Symptoms

I come from a family with a codependent mother. I am neither judging her nor blaming. But identifying codependency symptoms in her helped me a lot to overcome low self esteem. Codependency definition : Codependency is not a disease, it is an emotional and behavioural condition that is learned and affects the ability to have a healthy relationship with others. Many call codependency: a relationship addiction. Codependents have emotionally destructive relationships that are one-sided pleasing oriented and therefore abusive. They suffer from low self esteem. Researching a lot on codependents , I became aware that I used to act like one. Some of the codependency symptoms that I discovered in myself were:nnCodependency symptom # 1:A strong tendency to do more and give more tha I got in return. A tendency to sacrifice myself to give more. I kept thinking: “They are more important than me” , my favourite mantra. The truth behind this behaviour: My fear to loose his or her love, so I became pleasing to everybody, in order to feel loved and accepted. In fact, I focused too much on pleasing them; after all, their needs were more important than my needs. nnCodependency symptom # 2: I became easily hurt when nobody recognized my efforts I constantly complained: “After everything I have done for them….”. The truth behind this behaviour was that in order to feel good about myself I needed to be recognized by others. The same pattern than before: looking for approval. I kept doing thing for everyone with the idea that my efforts would please them and when I didn't get the recognitio I expected I felt insecure and resentful. nnCodependency symptoms #3: I always felt guilty when being assertive and expressed my thoughts Deep inside I always hear the same message: ‘ I shouldn't had said that”. The truth behind this behaviour is that I was afraid to be abandoned or rejected. I focused on: if I say what I really think I will be abandoned, they won't talk to me anymore. They could say anything they wanted but I was not allowed to do so. Because in order to be loved and accepted I not only have to be nice but submissive and passive. So, I devaluated myself, low self-esteem, to avoid rejection and abandonment. There are many other codependency symptoms such as care taking: confusing caring with taking care of. Trying to fix other people, thinking or feeling responsible for others, and manipulating behaviour in relationships through guilt. By identifying these symptoms I realized that I became what is normally called: people pleasing, which is a sign of low self-esteem. I focused too much on what the other person thought. Now, I don't know you , but do you relate to any of these symptoms? Are you focusing too much on what other people think about you too? nnn