Common Myths About Grieving--And How to Overcome These

Grief is a terribly unfortunate feeling, but it's one that virtually all people encounter at some point in their lives. Along with the grief come some common platitudes meant to comfort the bereaved. Falling victim to common myths about grief often actually prevents people from fully healing and completing their own journey. Myth: You'll Cry All The Time In the movies and on television, when a person passes away, those around him or her often burst into uncontrollable fits of fears. However, when your own loved one passes away, you might find that no tears are running down your cheeks. You shouldn't feel guilty about your lack of tears. That doesn't mean you lack emotion. Right now, you may be in shock, or you may simply respond to grief in a different way that isn't crying. Myth: You'll "Get Over It" Learning how to live with grief is possible, but you may never fully get over the loss of a loved one. That person isn't coming back in this world, and you are going to have to learn how to live without him or her. Even if you have a day or a week where you don't think of the person, his or her image will eventually spring back into your mind. Myth: You Must Attend Counseling When a person passes away, individuals around you might say that you need to start seeing a counselor or a therapist soon after. This suggestion is particularly prevalent when you were especially close to the deceased. For some people, therapy sessions work, but you need to find what makes sense for you. Instead of therapy, you may prefer to engage in prayer, yoga, art-making or writing to honor your deceased loved one. Myth: Grief is Linear You cannot think of grief as a linear journey; it is truly a cyclical process. Five months from now, you might feel as though you are starting to overcome some of the obstacles with the grief. However, when you walk down the aisle at your wedding or when your first child or grandchild is born, you might feel that loss just as much as you did in the first few days after it happened. You cannot expect to suddenly wake up one day and have all of the grief gone for good. Learning to accept the fact that this grief will likely play a role in your life for the long-term is important, and it allows you to conquer it in a way that makes sense for you. Informational Credit to Cornerstone Hospice and Palliative Care