Conflict in Marriage- Preventing Escalation

All close relationships, including marriage, will sooner or later have some conflict, it normally starts with something small or something that one of you feels strongly about, whatever the issue it must be addresses as soon as it arises. This article is based on my experiences; conflict in marriage-preventing escalation which comes up often when I help couples with their problems. When dealing with conflicts I always start at the beginning by getting the couples to talk about the causes of their conflicts, and almost always they fall into one or more of these categories. Do not hold grudges that will lead to conflict, get the issue out in the open and whatever happens remember you need to deal with the outcome of the conflict with love and forgiveness. Lack of Respect – in the beginning the love for each other was strong then life got in the way, life got harder and issues of respect suddenly came up. You must not allow yourselves to show a lack of respect for the others opinions or actions, talk about these issues when they arise, always keep in mind the love you have for each other. Lack of Time – try to put aside even a few minutes every day, even when life is at its busiest, to be together. It only takes a moment of time to re-affirm your love for each other, and to bond against whatever life is dealing out to you. Lack of Financial Goals – in today’s economic climate this problem comes up time and time again, one partner is the saver or planner and the other is the spender. An important part of your ‘together time’ should be devoted to the mundane but important is issues of family budgets, sort financial problems before they start by planning for the future. Lack of Shared Responsibilities – as well as financial planning, share out the responsibilities in the marriage so that you each have a fair share of them. If you fail to do this and one or other perceives that they do more, then this will lead to a brooding resentment and conflict. Unsolicited Advice – another on my most ‘often heard’ list of conflicts, please remember that your partner may occasionally be grateful for your loving advice, but keep your advice and opinions within bounds. Lack of Sexual Desire – one of the problems least discussed in most marriages, and in many cases the most important. Go back to the beginning, sexual desire and contact was probably the easiest part of the relationship, however life, kids, careers, all got in the way and gradually at first sexual desire for each other began to diminish. To rekindle the flame you need to put aside time for each other, restore romance to the marriage, make an effort to look good for your partner, remember the ordinary things like, personal hygiene is important as well.