Article

Controlling the Damage and Getting Your Ex Back

Topic: Relationship AdvicePublished June 14, 2011

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Have you been wondering what made your ex decide to end your relationship and what is it with you that he or she did not stand? Well, you must be thinking of the things that made him or her justify his or her decision of leaving you. Maybe it is time to look back and reflect on what really went wrong with your relationship. Perhaps you just do not know how to play the game. It is somehow a matter of fact that most men and women constantly test each other in their subconscious to check whether a person is a good choice or not. If you refuse to play the game, then you are the weaker person than you ever think you are. So to avoid this situation, here are the top mistakes you should avoid while in a relationship or if you are striving to get your ex back. Being overly nice and banking on it • There is a cliché that goes “nice people finish last”. This you have to really avoid and understand that being nice does not always work. • Going along with whatever your ex tells you or expects you to do is not very healthy at all. • Remember to always be on your guard and avoid being too nice as this can give your ex the chance to abuse your patience and kindness. rnUsing logic to get your ex back • If your ex really wants time for himself or herself, give it to him. Do not put logic in everything he or she does. • Keep in mind that a person’s heart is reactive and not constantly logical. You would rather think of ways that will get your ex to respond the way you want him or her to. Adapting the human doormat mechanism • Have you heard about this? Make sure this is not the thing you are doing right now. • Never use this line just to get your ex back: “Please stay. I’ll do whatever you ask.” Surely, this is not a good recipe for a relationship. In other words, do not beg. If your ex does not want to get back with you, it is his or her choice. It does not really make you less than what you were. rnGiving your ex gifts or flowers • Do not ever attempt to bribe your ex with flowers, gifts, or nice things you can imagine. Perhaps this is a good gesture but just once. Material things do not really build attraction among people. Over-using “I love you” • Although it can be easy to let yourself fall into the trap of overusing these three words. Words do not always guarantee sincerity. Your ex might be doubtful whether you are sincere or not. • So, instead of letting the phrase come out of your mouth, channel it through something more appealing to the emotions such as always being there for him or her no matter what. These are just some things that you have to keep in mind if you want to get your ex back. Put these into action and see how you have to stop the damage.

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