Controlling Jealousy Before It Controls You

Jealousy is a dangerous and destructive emotion which can override logical thought and motivate one to act in irrational ways. When you are feeling Jealous you can feel like you are caught up in a tornado which twists its way through your life, destroying everything in its path leaving you and others unsure as to when this storm will eventually die down.

And afterwards you look around at the desolation which this tornado of emotion left in its wake and you find it hard to comprehend what really happened. Like a tornado, jealousy whips itself into frenzy and lashes out to all who dare to cross its path. Jealousy is an intense emotion which seems to grip you in a stranglehold, dictating what you do and say and completely controlling your existence.

Learning to control jealousy is like learning to control anger. These volatile and turbulent emotions are kindred spirits. In both cases your emotional brain takes over and it becomes impossible to think clearly and logically. To overcome jealousy you have to learn to step back and re-engage the upper cortex, the logical thinking part of your mind.

Both of these emotions, jealousy and anger, are only experienced as a result of a perceived threat. Whenever you brain perceives something as threatening, the natural "fight or flight" response takes over, pumping you up in readiness to fight or to flee. This is a natural physiological reaction which instinctively and automatically happens whenever you perceive a threat.

We are hard wired to respond in this way as a matter of survival. This response has stayed with us since we lived in caves. It is an integral part of our genetic programming. To overcome jealousy, one has to consider the question of why you perceive something (usually someone) as a threat. Jealousy occurs in many different relationships, from toddlers to grand-parents. Jealousy is experienced in sibling rivalry and in tussles over a mate.

Jealousy tends to be at its most intense and torrid when feeling insecure about your mate. Your survival instinct goes on red alert and to some this can feel as if a fuse has blown. An explosion goes off in your brain and a wild rampage of emotion ensues. How do others cope with jealousy when it is directed at them? Some run for cover, as they would from a storm. Others perceive your jealous displays as a threat to them and don their own boxing gloves in readiness for a fight.

What can you do to overcome jealousy and contain your emotions before a tornado is triggered? You can take a few deep breaths and this will trigger an automatic relaxation response in your body. Then, as your body relaxes so too will your mind and the red mist of emotion will relax its stranglehold upon your logical thinking upper cortex. This is actually easy to achieve and it's quick; you just have to know that this is what you need to do!

There is however something more important and deep rooted which you could do to help stop jealousy from raising its stormy and tempestuous head; you can work on your own self confidence. If you feel comfortable and confident in yourself, then you will not perceive others as a threat, and you will no longer be wracked by the storm clouds of jealousy.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis confidence mp3 downloads.