Coping With Life After Divorce

Is there life after divorce? You bet there is, if you let there be. I was divorced in 2003, after 13 years of marriage. It was a marriage that probably never should have happened, but something that I would do all over again simply because it made me the person I am today, and gave me 2 beautiful daughters. I learned from the marriage and the divorce. I learned how to be more independent, creative and how to "do it all" and more! It made me a stronger individual. This isn't something that happens right away. It is a process, so be patient with yourself and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

When you are first going through the divorce process try to have a plan for the future. I was an Occupational Therapy Assistant, but received training in Medical Transcription so that I could work from home to be with my girls, who were about 6 and 11 years old at the time of the divorce. This would help me save on daycare costs. Also, I felt they would adjust better to the divorce if I was around more. When they were old enough to stay at home, I did go back to the therapy field while training and preparing to start my business, "Life Guidance And Solutions." I trained to be a Life Coach, Speaker/Seminars and an Author. This was my plan, and it worked. I can't say that it was easy, but I did get there. The main thing you have to keep in mind is just take a deep breath (many, actually!) and take one step at a time. Divorce is not easy, and it is definitely not a fun process to go through. I remember feeling degraded and like I was this terrible person. I knew deep down that I wasn't, but that is how I felt during the whole process. It just isn't a fun position to be in, no matter how much you may or may not want it. So, take those breaths and just go through each step and know that it will eventually be over so you can start your new life.

If you are already divorced, life gets better and better, and...better. You again need to keep a plan going. Take everything one step at a time and make sure you set some time for yourself, for that much-needed "me-time." I know you feel like you have no time left for "me," but you do have to shower; so, instead, put some relaxing music on, light some candles and take a bubble bath. Oh, and make sure you lock the door. Nobody needs you unless there is an emergency! Take this time for you! Just a little won't hurt. It will make a world of difference, even if it is short-lived. It does help to rejuvinate you; body, mind and spirit.

This is your time to do and be whatever you want. I used my divorce and ran with it. I had so many ideas. I had a plan and I had a mission. The great news is if you have your vision of your future, write down your goals and work towards them. Live the life you want to have...the life of your dreams. I did! You can too! At the time things are so hard and you just want to bury your head in a pillow and cry. Do that for a little if you need, but get right back into the grind. This is your time to do and be what you want. So, make this YOUR time! You deserve it.