Learning to Love Your Body

Twenty-four percent of women and 17 percent of men say they would ngive up more than three years of life to be thinner. That’s according nto a poll conducted by Psychology Today magazine. nnAt the same time, studies show that half of American women overestimate nthe size of their bodies.nnSociologists who study the western-world phenomenon of poor body image nattribute the problem to a variety of factors, including media and cultural ninfluences, as well as parental and peer messages.nnThe advertising industry ties the already complex issue of body image with nmaterialism. A slender body is associated with wealth, health, and nattractiveness. A heavier body is associated with sloth, indulgence, nand a lack of self-control. nnPsychological factors can add to the effect of media and culture. Girls nwho experienced sexual abuse or an emotionally difficult puberty are nmore prone to body dissatisfaction as adults. So are women who feel they nhave little control over their lives. nnWomen who have felt the most brutal blows from poor body image say it is nnot a single factor acting in isolation. Jenifer Tracy, who battled nbulimia for nine years, says a combination of factors, such as a nnon-supportive family environment and a poor self-image, snowballed in nthe presence of cultural influences.nn"If I had love for myself or love from my family," Tracy says, "it nwould not matter what a model looked like, and it would not affect nmy personal self-esteem."nnThe Dangers of Body DissatisfactionnWhen we realize that it is a combination of influences that lead nto body dissatisfaction, we empower ourselves to solve the problem. nWe can seize power by breaking the chain of these influences nwherever we can.nnCarolyn Strauss is a top plus-size model, author of Specialty Modeling, nand a nationally recognized expert on body image issues, from nfashion to self-esteem. Her accomplishments now include her own nclothing collection featured on the Home Shopping Network. Through nit all, she helps other women move toward a more positive body image. nStrauss says the biggest danger of a negative body image lies in the npower it gives away.nn"When someone has a poor body image, she will try to find validation nfrom outside to make her feel better. The next diet, the next fashion nfad, the next boyfriend, anything but where she is now. Instead of nliving in the moment, she may find herself living for ‘when I look better,’" nStrauss says. "Remember, the goal of most advertising it to make you n‘not OK’ so that, upon using that product, you will become OK. I say, nstart OK and then you’ll only buy what you choose to have for yourself."nnMost of us can think of a time when we thought a new haircut, diet, nor lipstick would turn everything around for us. But that mindset ncan lead to a lot of wasted time and money. Constant self-monitoring ncan also drain your energy, and it can even lead to depression and hostility.nnA University of Toronto study, published in the International Journal nof Eating Disorders, found that women who were interviewed after seeingnmagazine ads that featured female models showed a significant and immediate ndecrease in self-esteem.nnPoor body image can lead to crash dieting and excessive exercise, nwhich can, in turn, lead to poor nutrition, injuries, and depression. nIn it’s most dangerous form, a negative body image may fuel an eating ndisorder or Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD).nnWhen you are continually distracted with physical appearance, the nenergy of your mind, body, and spirit is diverted from more salient nendeavors.nnSOLUTIONSnnSeek help.nIf you feel that your body image has become a pre-occupation, don’t nhesitate to talk to a counselor or therapist. Amoreena Brewton, a nmother with a background in sociology and counseling, has conducted nresearch on women and body image. She says, "Some people are too ndeeply entrenched in their body issues to resolve them on their own. nOften, there are personal or familial issues at play when a person has nan eating disorder, so seeking professional help is highly recommended."nnTracy agrees. "In the end, my success came from the deep desire to nstop, which had been inside of me for years, and then getting into nserious therapy with an eating disorder specialist. Having someone nwho focuses on just that area was a true lifesaver."nnMake small changes.nA global change in cultural and economic structures would, no doubt, nhelp us all achieve a more positive body image. But there will likely nalways be supermodels, paid endorsements, and the unstoppable "quest nfor the best" bandwagon.nnInstead, enforce changes on a smaller scale. Brewton suggests we nstop allowing those negative forces into our lives. n"Don’t buy Cosmo, buy Redbook," she says. "Look at really powerful, nintelligent successful women whom you admire as often as possible. nFor example: Oprah, Rosie, Hillary, Martha, your mom, your grandmother, nyour daughter."nnUse positive affirmations.nWhen you catch yourself commiserating over tight blue jeans, ndon’t let your mind get stuck in the negativity. When that nnegative voice does emerge, follow it with 10 positive thoughts. nnTracy says repetition is key. "It begins with re-recording nthe negative messages in your own mind, which are so painful," nshe says. "I have probably re-recorded that message nover 500,000 times, and I keep losing it. But it’s easier to find nfor the next time."nnOnce you navigate yourself out of the negativity rut, you’ll feel nbetter about yourself, and you’ll better understand your power to ncreate and maintain a healthier mind, body, and spirit.nnRemember your spiritual connection.n"The first thing to remember is that the Universe does not make nmistakes," Strauss says. You are where you are for a reason. nAcknowledge this and then choose how to proceed with the next nminute, hour, day, of your life."nnFor the religious and spiritual among us, body image may ninstantly improve with the simple reminder that God gave you nthe body you have for a reason. He didn’t make you to look nlike Cindy Crawford because you aren’t Cindy Crawford. He nwants you to be healthy enough to do your life’s work. To nlive and work at an optimum level. So, accept His creation, nand nurture it.nnSurround yourself with supportive friends.n"As I began to recover little by little from bulimia," Tracy says. n"I did not surround myself with people who were as concerned nabout body size. I put myself among beautiful, strong, and nintelligent women who really put little emphasis on looks."nnBrewton also recommends surrounding yourself with friends nwhose focus is not on exteriors. "Other women can make the nbiggest difference in our lives by being mentors and leading nby example," Brewton says. She suggests we find a group of nwomen to meet with regularly to discuss issues important to nour lives, but, she says, don’t focus solely on body issues. n"Obsessing as a group is no better than obsessing as an nindividual," she says.nnFind a group of supportive women, either in your neighborhood nor online. Then use this safe, non-critical environment to nempower one another. nnFocus on health.nChange your relationship with food. Food is fuel for active living. nStrive not for a number on the scale but for a weight at which you nfeel strong and energetic. Ask yourself if your diet ncontributes - or takes away from - your health and energy levels. nnWhen we stop focusing on our bodies, and begin to focus on our nhealth, our bodies have an easier time finding our optimal weight. nResearchers at the Stanford University School of Medicine have ndiscovered that people who start a weight-loss program when they nfeel happiest about their body are more than twice as likely to nlose weight as people who are less satisfied.nnTracy proves that we can control how much power food has over us. n"One of the most important factors in my success has been to eat neverything and anything I want, whenever. I do not diet, restrict, nor make rules for myself in any way. This sets my life up so nthat I don’t ever feel restricted and needy for food. It has ntaken a lot of the importance out of food for me," Tracy says. n"Since I quit my bulimic behaviors, I have lost 15 pounds, my nface and cheeks are not swollen, and I feel really good."nnChange your relationship with exercise.nRegular exercise creates power and endurance, which can help nyou enjoy more activities. Can you hike as far as you like? nWould you like to try kayaking? Do you know the joys of a n"runner’s high"?nnFind an exercise you enjoy. If you hate aerobic dance, don’t njoin an aerobics class. If you hate the gym, don’t spend your ntime there. Instead, experiment with exercises you’ve never ntried before. Is there an exercise that makes you feel physically nempowered? Do that one. nnMotivate yourself to exercise by reminding yourself about the nburst of energy that inevitably follows a workout. nnChange your relationship with your body.nWhen food becomes a tool for active living, and exercise nbecomes a tool for increased strength, your body becomes a ntool for your mind. Suddenly, your body has the endurance nand power to do what the mind wills.nn"Our bodies are miracles, walking around in skin," Brewton nsays. You will never come across a finer work of art or nmachinery."nnBefriend your body, and ask yourself how you want to spend nyour life energy. "Imagine for a moment that you took all nthat time you spend thinking about appearance and focused non how much you love your ability to communicate well, or nwhat a great mom you are, or ways to solve the issue of nhomelessness," Brewton says. "If you took that negative nenergy and used it for good, not only would your life nimprove, but the world would improve, as well."n